Hyrum's {Birth} Story Part 2 - Birth

"Why did she just leave?", I said as I felt a contraction coming on, the urge to push, and Baby's head coming out...

Pure. Panic.

I'm not even sure what sound I made exactly, but it was described to me as a primal grunt/moan.

It was loud, but I wasn't exactly screaming.

My mind was going a million miles a second. "Why did the nurse leave? What was I even dilated to when she left? Where was the doctor? Should I try to push or not push? Should I pant? Should I pass out? Why is no one talking? Where is the staff? Wow.... this REALLY hurts!"

All I see is Charles to my left. I'm looking at him as our baby's head starts crowning. He's telling me to breathe, but all I want to do is push. I literally have no idea what is going on around me. I'm locked in this moment thinking that our baby was about to shoot out of me like a rocket.

This moment feels like forever.

I hate this moment because it hurts.

But it's the moment I've been waiting for for over 40 weeks!

I close my eyes and silent my mind and realize our baby is stuck. I ask out loud where our doctor is as I open my eyes. And there he is! Dr. Miller is there and the first thing I think is, "Oh cool! He's wearing an Iowa Hawkeye hat!"... and then I feel the wave of pain and terror come back as he frantically grabbed Baby and tried to get the bottom of the bed to drop down.

He shouted for someone to drop the bed. I could tell that Baby wasn't coming out right. Baby was coming out upwards and I felt baby needed to be pushed downwards. I closed my eyes again.

I needed to push. I raised and twisted myself to my right as Dr. Miller told me that he needed the biggest push I could possibly give him. I knew Baby was stuck and I could feel my body moving naturally to aide in pushing. I bore down so hard I thought my eyes were going to pop out of my head. I felt Dr. Miller push Baby down as I pushed out and then Baby was out.

"IT'S A BOY!" I shouted! The angle that he came out left his bottom up towards the ceiling and all I saw was his testicles! And they were HUGE! *cue the ugly crying*

Photos taken by Jen. You can see the Hawkeye on Dr. Miller's hat!

"WE HAVE A SON!"

Over. And over again.

Hyrum's {Birth} Story Part 1 - Labor

February 22, 2016

Normal day. Get up, get dressed, wake the girls up, get them ready for school, out the door, drop off the older three girls, etc. I took Adeline to my sister-in-law's house because I had my 40 week check up that morning. I wasn't sure what to expect, but I had come to terms with the fact that our Baby Jedi was way too comfy in my womb and was refusing to come out. Which was making me anxious, bitter, and sad.

At my appointment, I expressed my concerns with going over my due date since I had been measuring so big for the last six weeks or so. When the time came for me to be checked, my uterus was measuring large. A little too large for comfort, 44+ weeks. Dr. Miller felt it best to get an emergency ultrasound to check baby's weight, my placenta, the amniotic fluid, etc.

I was actually calm during this whole process. Perhaps because I prayed that whatever happened would be guided and directed by God? Probably. I called Charles and started walking through the hospital to the ultrasound area. I debated calling him in the first place... I thought, "I could just have the ultrasound, find out what the baby is, and NEVER tell anyone!"! But with my doctor's concern, I felt it best to have him there and to NOT find out baby's gender since I had a feeling we'd be meeting our Jedi sooner than I thought.

The ultrasound went well. We had the same lady that had been doing them so she didn't tell us baby's gender! She gave us a few photos of baby, but they didn't turn out the greatest since baby was in position for birth(yay!). As we were getting ready to leave, she mentioned waiting for a minute so she could call the doctor and see if he wanted me to go home. This is where I started to get a little worried, but I said a prayer that all would be well.

We were able to go home.

Around 1:00, Dr. Miller called me and told me that I had too much amniotic fluid and I would need to be induced the following morning. I was diagnosed with Polyhydramnios and we discussed what it meant and what could go wrong(prolapsed cord when water breaks, too rapid deflation of my uterus causing uterine rupture, etc.). There was nothing wrong with the baby or baby's size(which was noted to be on the smaller end of the scale...). We talked for a bit about my birth plan and how we could stick to it as closely as possible, but I had to be open to what was to come. The plan was to break my water first thing in the morning and see if my body would go into labor naturally before starting pitocin.

In a way, I was relieved after the call. I knew that Baby was going to come and I prayed that my water wouldn't break on it's own before I got to the hospital the next morning. I called Charles, my Mom, other family members, and messaged a few friends and my photographer about what was going on. I kept things very hush-hush since I was scared about what was going to happen. And I still had this kind of, "This baby is never coming out...", attitude. It wasn't pretty.

I spent the rest of the afternoon arranging babysitters, rides, packing the last of my bags, praying, preparing mentally, etc. We decided to take the girls out to eat at A&G's to tell them that their sibling was going to be born the next day! Caitlin figured it out before we even said anything, and the other girls were very excited! The bed-time routine was a little chaotic with all the excitement, and I had to teach Charles how to do the girls' hair since I wouldn't be there in the morning to do it myself, but everyone fell asleep really quickly!

February 23rd, 2016

I woke up around 4:00 a.m. and laid in bed saying prayers and reading scriptures on my phone. I searched Pinterest for labor and delivery scriptures. The scripture that stood out the most to me is found in Romans 8:18, "For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."

I was scared about the pitocin and the pain that it would bring. I had pitocin with Caitlin's birth and it scarred me emotionally and mentally. And I was very uncomfortable. I had glossed over just how uncomfortable I was feeling in my pregnancy updates because I didn't want people to think that I was complaining too much or being ungrateful. But the truth is, I was very, very uncomfortable and swollen the last three weeks. My ankles, feet, arms, chest, neck, face, lips, stomach... everything was super swollen/bloated. I didn't even really recognize myself in the mirror some mornings. My heartburn was awful, my chest/ribs hurt constantly, I couldn't walk more than three feet without getting terribly winded, my boobs were being pushed to the sides because my belly was so high and swollen... it wasn't fun.

I got out of bed at 5:00 and started getting ready for the day. I took out my luggage and wrote a letter to the girls. I woke Charles up right before I left and headed to labor and delivery. The full moon was still in the sky and it was cool to look at on the drive over.

Once I got there, I was put on the monitors and had my IV placed. Jen, Baby Jedi's Godmother and my best friend, showed up shortly after. It was nice to have someone to talk to since I wasn't even having any contractions. My cervix was checked at I was at a three and Baby wasn't engaged. Baby was, literally, bobbing up and down like a cork. There was no pressure on my cervix which was causing no contractions. It wasn't safe for the doctor to break my water with Baby not engaged. We were scared about cord prolapse and decided to go ahead and start the pitocin to get a contraction pattern that would either break my water on it's own or allow baby to engage so that my doctor could do it. I was started on a very slow drip.

This was not part of my birth plan, but I had to think about things from the overall point of view. I didn't want a c-section, so I opted for pitocin to help baby engage. I had to be attached to the monitors, which was fine, but we were having a lot of trouble getting my contractions to register since my stomach was so swollen. It was irritating, but we finally found a spot on my belly that worked. Charles came in after he and Adeline got some breakfast an after he dropped her off at his sister's house. My Mom followed shortly after!

My friend, Taycey, showed up in the late morning since she had to go into work for a bit that morning. She started taking photos at that point. {All of my official labor and delivery photos in this post were taken by Taycey Post Photography!} I was checked again with no change in dilation or effacement. I was getting frustrated at this point and watching the number on the pitocin drip creep upwards as I had no change in my cervix.

It was very difficult to stay positive because I was so afraid of the pitocin. It was working by noon. I had a few painful contractions and I had established a contraction pattern, but there was still NO CHANGE in my cervix.

I started feeling some of the side effects: shaking, aches and pains, feeling jittery/anxious, etc. I also had so much pressure in my vagina from having so much fluid that it was hard to be in the bed. TMI warning, but it felt like I was sitting on sausages(sorry... not sure how else to describe how swollen it was down there...). I opted to go on walk instead of just sitting on the labor ball and standing next to the bed. The labor ball put pressure on my vagina and helped with the pain and discomfort, but I needed to move. I was pretty bored and I felt bad for everyone in the room with me. Nothing was happening...

All of the photos in this collage were taken my Jen, in the red coat!
She was pretty excited about the labor selfie on the left!

These photos were also taken by Jen.
The top two were while I was being monitored between contractions.
Bottom left, Charles taking a labor selfie with me.
Bottom right, holding hands while having my cervix checked.

I walked for about two hours, being monitored on the labor ball or bed for 20 minutes each hour. I was checked again and progressed to 4 cm, but Baby wasn't engaged yet. I wanted to just go home at this point... I was feeling pretty defeated. My pitocin was upped every half hour after that. Things got a little more intense, but I couldn't really feel much moving around and sitting on the ball. My contractions were every 2 minutes.

My doctor came in and we discussed how slowly things were going and talked about why he still couldn't break my water safely yet. Even though I was finally dilating, Baby wasn't engaged. We decided to keep on the pitocin, increasing every half hour, until Baby engaged or my water broke naturally. I told him that once my water broke or was broken, things would go fast! He said, "Slow and steady wins the race!", and then I said, "It'll be a sprint finish, though!".

My photographer had to leave to pick up her kids. And since things weren't happening, we weren't worried that she'd miss anything. We'd just keep her updated and play the waiting game.

Shortly after 4:15, I was checked again and noticed right away that Baby was FINALLY engaged. My nurse told me not to move because she was going to get Dr. Miller to break my water! I told Jen to tell Taycey and for her to get back as soon as possible! (Vivian was born 45 minutes after my water was broken! I knew it would be fast once my water was broken!)

The actual process of him breaking my water took about 10 minutes because of the angle I was in. I wasn't suppose to lay back because baby would disengage. Dr. Miller kept checking and rechecking to make sure that the cord wouldn't prolapse around baby's head. It was painful, yes. I was breathing heavy, but not because of the pain. All of my fears about having something go wrong were right at my doorstep. I prayed through each breath.

Then I felt the gush... and it was a LOT of fluid. It was like Lake Amniotic in there! Dr. Miller kept his hand in there initially to make sure the cord didn't come out, and then once everything was all good, he removed his hand and the nurse started pushing on my upper belly to get all the extra fluid out. It sounded like someone was dumping buckets of water onto the floor.

After all was said and done, I felt my belly and noticed that I could breathe again. My ribs didn't hurt. My sides no longer hurt. My boobs were resting normal. And I could see how baby was laying in my belly! It was incredible! I felt SO much better! I didn't realize just how much pressure was in my belly until after all the fluid was out!

I was too scared to get out of the bed yet since I was scared of how strong the pitocin would make my contractions feel. The first one came, and it wasn't terrible. Then another, not so bad. Then another, not so bad. I realized at that point that I needed to pee pretty bad, so I decided to go to the bathroom and that being up would help dilate me. The nurse told me that the only thing she would want from me if I were to get up would be that if she told me to sit or get back in the bed, that I would do it without question. I agreed. I sat for one more contraction, which was a bit more painful. I stood up and had another contraction. This one hurt more than the last four. I needed to lean forward, so I shouted for Charles to come over and help me through.

Afterwards, I went to the bathroom and had a mild contraction during, PRAYING that baby wouldn't come out while I was on the pot. Spoilers: Baby didn't! I walked back to the bed and felt a strong contraction coming. I got Charles over by me and breathed through two back-to-back contractions.

Immediately afterwards, I felt the shaky-out-of-control-but-in-control feeling and knew it was time. I told the nurse and I sat on the bed. It was just me, Charles, my Mom, Jen, and the nurse in the room. She checked me, but didn't say what I was dilated to. And then she left the room.

"Why did she just leave?", I said as I felt a contraction coming on, the urge to push, and Baby's head coming out...

To be continued...

Baby #5, Week 41

The Force has awoken!

How far along: 41 weeks
Weeks to go: ZERO! Charles and I are pleased to announce that on Tuesday, February 23, 2016, at 5:01 p.m., we welcomed Baby Jedi into our family! 40 weeks, 2 days!

Baby Jedi is a BOY!

Hyrum Dean

9 lbs 9 oz

20 1/2 inches long

His big sisters are utterly in love with him and cannot be happier! Charles and I are still in shock! I am working on his birth story now and will have it up soon! Thank you all for your love, support, and patience!

He was worth the wait!

A HUGE THANK YOU to Mrs. Taycey Post of Taycey Post Photography for capturing these special moments! I cannot thank her enough for being willing shoot her first birth story as a photographer! I will cherish these photos always!

Baby #5, Week 40

How far along: 40 weeks! FULL TERM!
Weeks to go: ZERO! But apparently baby is super comfy and wants to hang around a bit longer... I've never been over the 40 week mark, ever. Rosalie and Vivian were born on their 40 week due dates. I am in shock that my fifth child will probably be the one that is going over the 40 week mark! I'm in denial. Unless I have the baby later today/this evening! But I doubt it...

Baby is the size of: a small pumpkin!

Gender Prediction: Boy

Weight gain: 35 lbs

Starting to show yet?: Oh yes!

Maternity clothes: Yes! Extra large EVERYTHING since I'm SOOOO huge right now. Nothing fits and I'm super uncomfortable in all of my clothes. My shirts are working the hardest right now! Thank goodness for my support bands being so long and covering the bottom of my belly! Otherwise it'd be pretty drafty!

Stretch marks: The very tip of three of my longest stretch marks have stretched a little bit more!

Belly button in or out: Flattie, but my hernia makes it look like an outtie. 

Sleep: Really good. I'm very tired all the time, so it makes waking up to turn over or go the bathroom easy to fall asleep afterwards. 

Movement: Baby is out of room. And feeling Baby's movements is becoming less and less prominent. I have been trying to stay calm when Baby doesn't move. I'm doing kick counts every hour I'm awake and saying a LOT of prayers.
Labor Signs: Not as many contractions this week. There have been a few days where I only had maybe four contractions all day long. It's been very disheartening. I really thought we'd have our baby here by now... I seriously feel like Baby is going to be inside of me forever. 

Best moment this week: Meeting up with my friends on Friday for some food and bingo! It was nice to get my mind off of things for a while! And the weather has been wonderful! We went on a walk as a family yesterday(2-21-16) and even though a few parts of the walk were super windy, we all had a blast! I was hoping it would start some contractions, but it did nothing for me. Other than make me realize we can't go too far away from the house with as often as I have to pee lately! It was almost bad!

Worst moment this week: Monday at my appointment. Usually those are my highlights, but this week, it was not. Even though I'm happy that I've made it to the 40 week mark, I really, REALLY thought this baby would've been here by now. I'm excited, anxious, nervous, impatient, cranky, and emotional. I am not much fun to be around. And I really hate it when people see me and make comments about how I look like I've dropped, or baby is still very high, or I look like I'm about to pop, or whatever. I'm struggling with this more than I thought I would. I honestly think that I am just so ready to KNOW this baby that it's clouding my excitement and joy with anxiety. 

Miss anything: Smaller EVERYTHING.

Wedding rings on or off?: On during the day. Off at night.

Cravings: Cookie Dough Ice Cream
Aversions: Raw Meat
Appetite: Lacking. Which isn't normal for me. But when I'm upset, nervous, or anxious, my appetite goes out the window. I'm making sure to stay well fed and hydrated, but I never really want anything. I have to force myself to eat 95% of the time. 

Queasy or sick: My runny nose has finally let up! Praise the Lord!
Workouts: Walking

Emotionally: As much as I hate to admit it, I'm struggling. I have been focusing on all of the positives, but after a while, I get tired of being to hopeful. It's like I WANT to be mad for a little while each day. I generally cry whenever someone messages me asking if I'm making any progress or if the Baby is here yet. I really appreciate how much people love and care for me and Baby, but it's so hard to have to remind myself that NOTHING is happening. I feel like I'm waiting for the roof to cave in on me. I'm cranky. I'm crabby. I wish I weren't though, because I am SO grateful for this pregnancy and baby. My true inner feelings are so much nicer than how I'm feeling on the outside.
Physically: Tired. Exhausted. I have random, short bursts of energy, but they are VERY few these days. All I want to do is lay around and read, color, or watch Netflix. I have zero motivation. I know that I'm conserving energy for my labor and Baby's delivery, but I feel kinda worthless some days when Charles comes home from work and the dishes are stacked high and I'm just lounging around. Ugh. But I do make sure to keep up on things like the laundry and dishes. Even though they have gotten away from me more than once this week... 

Looking forward to: LABOR TO START and to FINALLY meet this baby! And then all of the fun stuff that happens afterwards: baby snuggles, breastfeeding, picking out a name, etc.!

Baby #5, Week 39

How far along: 39 weeks, 1 day! Full term!
Weeks to go: This is the last week! Unless baby decides to go over-due...  

Baby is the size of: a mini-watermelon!

Gender Prediction: Boy

Weight gain: 35 lbs. BOO!

Starting to show yet?: Oh yes!

Maternity clothes: Yes! Comfy maternity pants and large/XL maternity shirts. All day. Err day!

Stretch marks: The very tip of two of my stretch marks have stretched just a little bit more. 

Belly button in or out: Flattie, but my hernia makes it look like an outtie! 

Sleep: Really, really good! Which is surprising, but I've been exhausted lately. I wake up to turn over or go to the bathroom, but I'm able to fall back asleep quickly! There have been three nights this past week where I was up for a few hours with contractions, but I just stayed in bed reading my Kindle. So even though I was awake, I was resting!

Movement: Baby is uber sensitive to my eating habits. If I go too long between meals or drinks of water, Baby doesn't move and it freaks me out. But when Baby is good, we're rocking and rolling! Baby's movements are getting fewer and fewer, so I've been doing kick-counts a few times a day. I had an appointment today and went in for a NST to check on Baby's movements and heart rate. Everything was good! Baby was a little inactive, but not enough for an induction. Praying Baby stays active and that all will be well as we approach labor and delivery.
Labor Signs: Contractions pretty much all day, every day. It gets old keeping track just to have everything stop. I don't feel like these contractions are changing my cervix. But I know they are contractions and not just Braxton Hicks. During my NST today, the nurses said there was a lot if irritability in my uterus, which is a good sign of impending labor. I just feel like I'm going to be pregnant forever at this point... but the good thing is, I do know that Baby will come! It just feels like forever with all of these contractions. I try to zone out by watching Netflix(Supernatural), reading my Kindle, or playing games on Facebook. I'm not even overdue and I'm going crazy!

Best moment this week: Being on my labor ball with Adeline trying to ride my back while I bounced! It was hilarious! I was having contractions every 2 minutes for about 2 hours, but made no progress. Adeline was loving it, though!

Worst moment this week: Being sent home after my NST today. I really thought that my doctor wanted to induce me today, but after my appointment this morning(checking baby's position, my cervix, baby's heart rate, my NST, etc.), my doctor feels like I can safely continue this pregnancy without induction. I am grateful since I was really dreading having a pitocin-induced induction, but part of me had to cry it out because I really thought I would be meeting this baby today or tomorrow. And I'm not. And that's okay! I just need some time to cry about it!

Miss anything: Smaller EVERYTHING!

Wedding rings on or off?: On during the day. Off at night.

Cravings: Pears, Chili Cheese Fritos, Cajun Trail Mix
Aversions: Raw meat(even the sight of it)
Appetite: Normal. 

Queasy or sick: Fighting off some sort of sickness... I've been drinking a giant glass of orange juice each morning and making sure to keep hydrated and rested. Just in case I do actually get sick before baby comes.
Workouts: Just walking for now. 

Emotionally: Doing pretty good. I have a lot of anxiety when it comes to the unknown aspects of the last few weeks of pregnancy. I am stressing all the time about what time labor will start, who will be able to watch our girls, will the girls be at school, etc. We have a plan, yes, but this whole things makes me nervous. I pray that all will work out for us! I see now why families have home births!
Physically: I. Am. Exhausted. I am still nesting like crazy, but I've started slacking lately because I'm so tired all the time. I've been resting as much as possible and trying to enjoy our family before baby comes and changes our dynamic. I am looking forward to welcoming this baby, but I will miss our family of six! I've been having bloody noses more frequently, but my blood pressure is fine. I've been restricted to just walking for the time, which makes me sad because I love me some Zumba! And I miss going to class. I can tell that some days baby is lower(baby's dropped) and other days, baby is back up high again. I love the days when baby is lower because I can actually eat and NOT get heartburn!

Looking forward to: Labor and delivery. Meeting and holding this baby! Finally knowing Baby's gender! Having a name for this little one(since we still have no idea yet! Yikes!)! Baby snuggles! Breastfeeding!

Baby #5, Week 38

How far along: 38 weeks
Weeks to go: 1 to 2 weeks, but baby can come anytime he or she wants!

Baby is the size of: a leek!

Gender Prediction: Boy

Weight gain: 33 lbs, two pounds down at my appointment on 2-1-16!

Starting to show yet?: Oh yes!

Maternity clothes: Yes! I found some XL maternity shirts in my stash. They are huge on my in the shoulder/chest area, but they are the only shirts that fit my GIANT belly! I'm becoming more and more grateful that I'm pregnant in the winter! Everywhere I go, I wear my coat and it hides how terribly my shirts fit! Haha! Small blessings!

Stretch marks: The very tip of one of my stretch marks has stretched a little bit more! Just like with Adeline's pregnancy, it took 38 weeks, but it did happen! 

Belly button in or out: Flattie, but my hernia makes it look like an outtie!

Sleep: Very good! I've been so exhausted during the day that I'm actually sleeping better at nights! I still wake up to turn over and go to the bathroom, but I am able to fall back asleep quickly with no problems! 

Movement: Baby's sleep/awake cycles are freaking me out. When Baby is up, movement is almost constant. I can tell that Baby is running out of room because the movements are more like large shifts and nudges, but I can still feel when Baby's feet glide across the inside of me! When Baby is resting, I feel nothing, unless Baby has hiccups. It freaks me out because it'll be like that for anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour. By the time I'm ready to call the hospital, Baby wakes up and starts rocking and rolling again. Part of me just wants to have this baby now so that I can stop freaking out every single day, multiple times a day over this!
Labor Signs: TONS of contractions, as usual. I had not one, but TWO trips to Labor and Delivery this weekend. Yesterday and today.
Trip #1: I woke up around 4:30 Saturday morning having contractions. I would fall asleep in between them, but they were about 5 minutes apart. Things had continued all morning, so by the afternoon, when things were getting stronger and my contractions were 2:30 apart, I decided to go in and get monitored. I was checked and told that I was 3 cm dilated and 80% effaced on one side of my cervix, and 50% effaced on the other side. My cervix does this because of a procedure I had to remove cervical cancer cells in 2010 after I had Rosalie. I was alone in the room since I was just being monitored, but after three hours, there was no change. I had my bloody show and my contractions were consistent the ENTIRE time, but no cervical progress. I was sent home. Though my contractions kept up the rest of the night. No baby.
Trip #2: After Relief Society at church, I stood up to leave and had a terribly sharp pain in my lower uterus and I couldn't walk. It felt very painful and I wasn't sure what was going on. I couldn't really lift Adeline and walking made things worse. I went to the bathroom where I lost my entire mucous plug and had some more bloody show. My contractions were very painful and I knew something wasn't quite right. Charles sped us home from church and when we got there, I went to the bathroom again and things stopped. I went ahead and called in to ask Dr. Miller what he wanted me to do, and he wanted me to come in anyway to be checked and monitored. I was checked right away with no change. I was having contractions, but baby really wasn't moving very much. Long story short, I was dehydrated and needed to eat. Once I got food and water in my system, baby started moving and my contractions stopped. I was sent home, again. No baby.

Best moment this week: The four hours of alone time while being monitored on Saturday! I took time to pray, think about baby names, watch a movie(The Proposal), and rest! It was peaceful, quiet, and a little boring! Haha! 

Worst moment this week: Snow day on Tuesday. My girls are horrible when their normal schedule is thrown off. Tuesday was awful. Constant fighting, hitting, yelling... all the things. I was so tired of it all by 9:00 in the MORNING! It was a long day, but I got through it. Thank goodness for coloring books, Netflix, and naps! And then going to the hospital twice, only to be sent home twice... BLAH!

Miss anything: Smaller EVERYTHING. Sushi. 

Wedding rings on or off?: On during the day. Off at night.

Cravings: Cajun Trail Mix
Aversions: Raw Meat, any off or foul smells.
Appetite: Normal. I am noticing that some days when Baby is dropped, I'm starving! But when Baby is up again, my appetite is normal.

Queasy or sick: Fought off the head/chest/throat thing in the beginning of the week.
Workouts: Just walking. With trying to recover from my sickness, I didn't want to overdo things and make it worse if I went into labor while sick!

Emotionally: Doing really well this week. Even for everything that's happened in the past two days, I've held things together quite well! I haven't cried, but I keep fighting off the urge to be upset about all of this.
Physically: Tired! I've been nesting like a crazy person and I need to rest a few times a day! I've been taking two naps a day! It's wonderful! My body was very tired after everything on Saturday. That night was the best night of sleep I've had in a long time!

Looking forward to: My 38 week appointment tomorrow! Labor. Delivery. Baby snuggles. Breastfeeding. 

Baby #5, Week 37

I think Baby has dropped!

How far along: 37 weeks!
Weeks to go: 1 to 3 weeks, but baby can come anytime he or she wants!

Baby is the size of: a bunch of Swiss chard!

Gender Prediction: Boy. We asked our friends and family via Facebook what they think about Baby Jedi's gender. I think all but *maybe* three people think that Jedi is a HE! We will know soon!

Weight gain: 35 lbs, the most I've ever gained during a pregnancy. Blah!

Starting to show yet?: Oh yes!

Maternity clothes: Yes! And most of my maternity shirts don't fit at this point! 

Stretch marks: Just a lot of old ones! Keeping an eye out for any new ones, especially with my weight gain!

Belly button in or out: Flattie, but my hernia makes it look like an outtie!

Sleep: Very good! We officially moved Adeline into her big sister's room and the transition has been great! Charles needs to be in there with her initially, but she has slept wonderfully in there with them! She only ended up in our bed one morning because she was teething and getting sick. Otherwise, it's been wonderful! I can move around and not worry about making too much noise! I can read on my Kindle when I can't sleep and not worry about the light waking her up! I'm loving it! Though I did cry the first two nights that she wasn't in our room! Hormones!

Movement: Baby definitely has a sleep cycle! And this baby tends to deep sleep! There are moments when I get pretty freaked out because there's little to no movement at all. But then, once I settle down, baby wakes up and lets me know that he/she is perfectly fine! Baby is also head down, low, and in position! Hooray!
Labor Signs: TONS of contractions every day. Some regular, but mostly irregular. 

Best moment this week: My 36 week check up on 1-25-16. I had my Group B Strep test done, it was negative! Hooray! I was also measuring between 40 and 41 weeks. I went from measuring 35 weeks at 30 weeks, measuring 33 weeks at 33 weeks, to measuring 40/41 weeks at 36 weeks. So I have a feeling this baby is going to be HUGE. 

Worst moment this week: Being sick and not able to get a lot of rest during the day. 

Miss anything: Smaller boobs... pretty much smaller EVERYTHING on my body! And sushi. I could REALLY go for some sushi!

Wedding rings on or off?: On during the day. Off at night. My swelling hasn't been bad this week!

Cravings: Pears, Raisin Nut Bran, Ice Cream, Peanuts
Aversions: Raw Meat, any off or foul smells.
Appetite: I feel like I'm starving ALL. THE. TIME. I eat small meals throughout the days to help with this, but my hunger/thirst is ridiculous these days! I have been keeping my snacks on the healthy side: celery, carrots, apples, trail mix, etc. If I eat too much, I get raging heart burn... which is no fun!

Queasy or sick: Sick. Head/chest/throat cold that has been awful. Started symptoms Thursday, didn't come fully down it until Saturday night/Sunday morning. I was in bed most of Sunday resting. Charles has been sick, too. So I'm so thankful that he let me rest when all he wanted to do was rest!
Workouts: Zumba on Monday and part of Wednesday. I was having too many contractions during Wednesday's class, so I went home early. And I'm getting in more walks!

Emotionally: Aside from feeling sad when Adeline moved out of her crib in our room, I've actually been alright! I do feel insensitive at times, but for the most part, I actually feel pretty good! I still have my anxieties and worries about when this baby is going to decide to come and what we're going to do with the girls, but with the nesting I've been doing, I'm actually doing alright! I have plenty going on each day that I have things to look forward to and it keeps me preoccupied in my thoughts!
Physically: I am getting more tired during my workouts, but I feel SO much better after I get them in! It helps with sleeping and it helps with my circulation/swelling. I get winded going up stairs and I'm having trouble carrying Adeline upstairs for her naps, but I've been taking it slow. And I get extra cuddle time with her, so I'm all for it! I feel as if baby has dropped some because I can BREATHE! I can eat more food! My bra isn't killing my ribs at the end of the day! The only down side, I'm going to the bathroom every 15 to 30 minutes! BLAH!

Looking forward to: My prenatal appointment tomorrow! Labor. Delivery. Baby snuggles. Breastfeeding. More baby snuggles!

Baby #5, Week 36

How far along: 36 weeks
Weeks to go: 1 to 4 weeks!

Baby is the size of: a head of romaine lettuce!

Gender Prediction: Boy

Weight gain: 33 lbs

Starting to show yet?: Oh yes!

Maternity clothes: Yes! I am living in my maternity leggings/capris and my large maternity shirts. Though some of my large shirts are working pretty hard these days! I know I'm bigger this time around from when I was pregnant with Adeline. I need some XL maternity stuff, but I'm gonna make it work with my large clothes. Thank goodness for my maternity support tanks!

Stretch marks: Just a lot of old ones! Keeping an eye out for any new ones!

Belly button in or out: Flattie, but my hernia makes it look like an outtie.

Sleep: I'm going through a comfortable stage and I am LOVING it! Adeline's nights are still pretty iffy, but on the nights where she sleeps until it's time to get up with the alarm, those nights are glorious!

Movement: Jedi is still very much active even though I'm sure he/she is running out of womb room! Some movements are uncomfortable, especially when baby moves through a contraction!
Labor Signs: Braxton Hicks contractions every day. There was a big snowstorm that hit our area all day Tuesday and it had me having contractions most of the day. When the snow stopped, so did my contractions. I'm thinking the weather messes with my body! This is what happened when I was pregnant with Caitlin, but I was too far into labor to stop. She was born the day before 36 weeks. So this pregnancy is my fourth that has gotten me to this point! I don't want another preemie! TMI Warning: I've also lost more of my mucous plug! 

Best moment this week: NESTING! Thank goodness! My house has needed some serious deep cleaning and it has been done! I'm so glad that it's out of the way now before Jedi's arrival! I still have a few things left to do, but I went through SO much stuff and purged! It was not only wonderful, I was NOT stressed during! And that's HUGE for me! I get so overwhelmed very quickly, but I really found the drive to push forward and make the most of my bursts of energy! Still a lot to do, but I'm not even worried about it! I am very much enjoying my nesting and cleaning ALL THE THINGS!

I also got to go on another date with my husband to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens! It's in our small town finally and we couldn't pass up the chance to see it again! Especially since I'm sure we're not going to have a lot of alone time once Jedi arrives! On Saturday, my friend Julie came over the the whole day to hang out and have our kids play together! I got some major baby snuggles from her newborn(the birth that I got to watch!) and if I weren't already pregnant, I would want to be!
Worst moment this week: Struggling with the thoughts about what's going to happen when I go into labor. We've been trying to figure the logistics out and I'm starting to get nervous. I'm praying that I'll go into labor when the girls are home from school, preferably in the evening or on a weekend, so that we don't have to worry about pick-ups, drop-off's, etc. The more contractions I have, the more I realize just how unprepared we are for this... 

Miss anything: Smaller boobs/arms/legs/face/all the things... 

Wedding rings on or off?: On during the day, but only when I leave the house. Off otherwise and at night. I hate how swollen my fingers have been getting... BOO!

Cravings: Raisin Nut Bran, Ice Cream
Aversions: Raw Meat, any off or foul smells
Appetite: Normal! Though I feel parched all day long... even though I drink way more than 100 ounces a day!

Queasy or sick: Same runny nose as usual... it's starting to get old!
Workouts: Zumba and walking! I'm really enjoying working out! I am pretty self conscious with my largeness, but I just do Zumba anyway! I get stares, but for the most part, people are pretty supportive and rather impressed that I'm still trucking! Haha!

Emotionally: I have ZERO control over my emotions and it's a little ridiculous. I feel like a crazy person. I can not hold in my emotions, good or bad. Sunday was a bad day. I don't even want to talk about it really, but our family is struggling with Charles' new calling in the church.
Physically: I'm feeling good, but I am also feeling pretty miserable some days! Bloating, swelling, heartburn, belly tenderness, lighting crotch, restless legs, achy joints... all the fun things that come with the end of pregnancy. But then there are moments where all is well and I actually feel really good! I have been dealing with the swelling at the end of the day, but sometimes it's all day. Makes it difficult to really get anything done because with the swelling comes feeling incredibly tired. 

Looking forward to: My 36 week prenatal appointment tomorrow! Getting the last few things ready for Jedi's arrival! Labor. Delivery. Baby snuggles. Breastfeeding. Sleeping on my belly.

Baby #5, Week 35

My tank top is working pretty hard this time! Also, Charles took this photo, so my shadow is in front of me instead of behind me! Looks a little weird, but I'm to the point where I need help taking these photos!
So grateful that he's willing to put up with me!

How far along: 35 weeks
Weeks to go: 5 weeks, or 35 days! 

Baby is the size of: a honeydew melon!

Gender Prediction: Boy

Weight gain: 33 lbs

Starting to show yet?: Oh yes! I feel HUGE! 

Maternity clothes: Yes! As the cold weather is getting worse, I'm realizing that I don't have a lot of winter maternity stuff! So I've been wearing a lot of hoodies and sweatshirts when I get cold! Which isn't too often, but when I get cold, I'm freezing! 

Stretch marks: Just a lot of old ones! Keeping an eye out for any new ones!

Belly button in or out: Flattie! Though my hernia makes it look like an outtie. 

Sleep: Adeline is doing better with her sleep. We had two nights that were bad, but she's now sleeping until about 5:30 to 6, which works with our normal schedule! I'm so exhausted at the end of the day that it doesn't take me but two minutes to fall asleep! And that's anywhere! The couch, the recliner, my bed, the floor... if I lay down, I'll be sleeping before too long! I can't help it! I also find that I sleep better on the couch! But I love my bed, so I force myself to wake up and go upstairs every night. Though that usually ends in me having some insomnia and I can't get comfortable. I think part of why I love my bed so much is because I'm right next to Charles! And I find myself needing to just be close to him this past week. 

Movement: Baby Jedi is still as active as ever! The movements are very strong and sometimes knock me off balance! I know baby is running out of room, and I can definitely tell! Baby is very high in my ribs most days/nights. I can't walk across my house without getting winded! But that doesn't stop baby from kicking and nudging my ribs almost constantly!
Labor Signs: TONS of Braxton Hicks contractions with a few real ones here and there. TMI Warning: I've started losing my mucous plug already! Much like with Adeline's pregnancy, it's very small amounts, but enough for me to know that it's not the normal pregnancy discharge. I know that it's not time to celebrate labor yet, but it brings me comfort knowing that my body is doing what it's suppose to preparing for Baby's birth! It gives me hope that all of my contractions aren't in vain!

Best moment this week: My nesting instinct FINALLY kicking in! Saturday was a fantastic day for me! I got all of the girls' clothes sorted through and put away, baby's gender neutral stuff washed and ready, and even cleaned my kitchen! My house has been a disaster since Christmas break and when I get overwhelmed, I generally tend to shut down and zone out. So this wave of wanting to clean and organize has been heaven-sent! 

Worst moment this week: All the aches and pains that come with working out every day and then cleaning/organizing my house! Thank goodness for warm baths at the end of the day to soak in! 

Miss anything: Smaller boobs, sushi, not getting winded walking, clothes that actually fit, the summer.

Wedding rings on or off?: On during the day. Off at night. Though more lately with all of my swelling, I only wear my rings out of the house and leave them off when I'm home. 

Cravings: Raisin Nut Bran, Doritos, Ice Cream
Aversions: Raw Meat, any off or foul smells.
Appetite: Regular! Keeping my meals smaller and more often throughout the day has really helped! That and I feel like I can't get enough water these days! I am constantly chugging and filling up my water bottle!

Queasy or sick: Same runny nose...
Workouts: Zumba everyday but Friday(Charles and I went on a "date" to buy/price some baby stuff: hand-print kit, look at blankets/fabric, etc.), and walking!

Emotionally: I think that working out everyday helped with my emotional state. I was a wreck on Tuesday having a panic attack in the morning for no real reason, but I'm thankful that Charles had a personal day to stay home with me while I got all of my feelings and stuff under control. I was able to plan meals for the week and have things to look forward to. It was calming and much needed! I hate how my emotions are so touchy these days!
Physically: Exhausted, but in a good way! Working out has helped me to be able to sleep better at night and my surge of energy to nest has made my body ache a lot, but I'm so glad for it! I love being able to soak in a warm bath while thinking about baby names and the upcoming labor and delivery! My joints are starting to ache more, but I'm not sure if that's because it was bitterly cold or if it's because my muscles/joints are relaxing for the birth. Or both! I am still having swelling during the day if I'm up on my feet for too long, but so far it's something that has been able to resolve with resting on the couch with my feet up(watching Netflix!)! 

Looking forward to: My 36 week prenatal appointment next Monday, getting the house ready for Baby Jedi, and finally finding out what gender Jedi is after his or her birth!

Baby #5, Week 34

Not my normal bra or support top! Boo for laundry day!

How far along: 34 weeks
Weeks to go: 6 weeks! YAY!!!

Baby is the size of: a cantaloupe!

Gender Prediction: Boy

Weight gain: 33 lbs

Starting to show yet?: Oh yes! And the "Aren't you miserable?" and "Can't get much bigger can you?" comments are already coming. Which turns me into the unpleasant-pregnant-Carie that I don't like people to see. Guess what?! I'm big. I'm pregnant. It's a part of the process. Please be kind! I'm already self-conscious as it is and your comments remind me of just how much I've gained. *sigh*

Maternity clothes: Yes! I wore a regular t-shirt the other day and it was working pretty hard! So maternity from here on out! Haha!

Stretch marks: Just a lot of old ones!

Belly button in or out: Flattie. My hernia makes it look like an outtie.

Sleep: This is the first week that Charles and I have gotten TWO nights of sleep with Adeline waking up around 5:30 to 6! Which has been HEAVEN! We're still not sure why Squishy wakes up so much, but we had her 18 month check up on Friday and talked with our doctor. No concerns, just something we need to continue to ride out. Joy. A few of my nights were spent in pain from my jaw/gum pain. (More about that below.) 

Movement: Jedi's movements are getting into a routine. I can tell when Baby is probably resting/sleeping and it's rather obvious, even from a distance, when Baby is up and moving! It's so neat to watch my belly move from the outside! My girls sure LOVE watching it!
Labor Signs: TONS of Braxton Hicks contractions and a few real ones. Which scares me. I know that 34 weeks is generally a safe time for baby to be born, but up until then, baby's health is at risk. Babies born after 34 weeks usually have a small NICU stay and then go home. Just like our Caitlin did. But I was pretty much freaking out on Saturday when I have having regular, strong contractions for almost 12 straight hours. Some of the contractions had me in tears, and not from hurting, but from be being scared that Baby would be born too early. 

Best moment this week: My friend Megan's pure romance party, getting all of my maternity photos(taken by Taycey Post Photography), and then Girl's day in Des Moines with Jen, Sierra, and Darcy! 

Worst moment this week: The severe jaw/gum pain I started having Monday night. It lasted pretty much all week, with a few of the days ending in a migraine from all the pain. I couldn't even function when the pain was going on. It was almost unbearable. I couldn't sleep, and I would wake up moaning in pain. I ended up on the couch most nights so that I could be in pain and away from Adeline. I didn't want to wake her up. The problem isn't my teeth and even though I had some prescribed meds, nothing really seemed to help. Charles gave me a blessing and I haven't had any pain since Saturday night. And, the 12 hours of contractions that pretty much had me in pre-anxiety-attack mode. I was in Des Moines, away from Charles, and trying to not freak out. All was well, though! I said a few prayers that if it was really go-time, that the Spirit would let me know. I kept getting the feeling that Baby wasn't going to come, but as my contractions got stronger, I started questioning my judgement. Vicious cycle. I hate the end of pregnancy for this reason!

Miss anything: Sushi, tying my own shoes, smaller boobs, not being so puffy.

Wedding rings on or off?: On during the day. Off at night.

Cravings: Lobster, Doritos, Peanuts
Aversions: Raw Meat, any type of off-smell(when someone burps or passes gas around me I feel like I'm going to puke!)
Appetite: Hearty. But I have to eat small meals during the day or I get RAGING heart burn. 

Queasy or sick: Same runny nose!
Workouts: Zumba almost every day! Walking.

Emotionally: This was a tough week. I felt worthless because I was in so much pain from my face that getting up and going to the bathroom was too much. I did no laundry, no dishes, no cleaning, etc. while in pain. And the times when I was pain-free, I got in as much cleaning as I could. I even went to a few workouts, but regretted those later when I got a migraine from the pain/pressure. Which had me pretty emotional and all over the place. I cried A LOT.
Physically: Pain from my jaw/gum/face. Still not sure exactly what was going on, but I'm so glad that I haven't had any pain like that since Saturday. Hoping it continues this next week! My house needs cleaned! I'm also noticing that if I walk to fast, I get winded very quickly! I started Aqua Zumba this week and for the parts of the songs where I'm suppose to float, I can't! I can't get enough air in my lungs to stay afloat! It's rather hilarious! I just keep my feet down and spin in a circle or kick my feet up and down up like a mermaid. I am also peeing ALL THE TIME. Feels like I did in the beginning of this pregnancy! And if I try to hold it for too long, I end up dribbling on the way to the toilet! TMI, sorry! But for real! I am also swelling up during the day/night. Which I HATE. My rings don't fit, my shoes don't fit, socks cut off my circulation, and I feel HUGE. I haven't had symptoms like this since I was pregnant with Caitlin. I am not loving it, but I am making sure to rest during the day with my feet up, staying hydrated, and I've been watching my Netflix queue! This generally ends with me falling asleep, but I have alarms set on my phone to keep me on my schedule! Haha!

Looking forward to: My next appointment(1-25, 36 weeks), packing my hospital bag, washing all the gender-neutral clothes for Jedi's first week, the nesting instinct to kick-in, going into labor, and meeting this little Jedi!

Here are some more photos from my winter maternity session by Taycey Post Photography! She did SUCH an amazing job! I was in tears while looking through the photos! These aren't even all of them! It was so hard to even narrow down the photos to make collages!

The photos left me speechless! I've struggled this pregnancy with feeling huge and ugly. These photos made me see my body as a strong, amazing thing! Being able to even carry a baby is such a blessing! My body has carried nine babies, with only five of them being carried past 18 weeks. I know that nothing is guaranteed, but I'm so blessed to have this body! Yes, it's puffy, huge, and bloated, but it is a gift! I do not take this for granted! I am taking things one day at a time. I am doing what I can to prepare my body to deliver this baby naturally, if it is God's will. Glory be to Him.