Carie's Weight Loss Journey Week 34

Has it really been 34 weeks? Sheesh! That's almost an entire pregnancy! Having been through three of them, I know what it's like to count down the weeks until you meet your new baby! Except this journey, I'm counting down the pounds until I reach my goal weight! And I am SO close! I will laugh if it takes me 40 weeks! That will be AWESOME! Almost as awesome as this shirt that someone needs to buy for me:

Found HERE

As the 2013 started, a lot of my friends and I made fitness resolutions and/or goals. A lot of those goals are the same, but when I tell people that I want to run a marathon, they look at me like I'm crazy! Maybe I am! But it has always been a dream of mine!

I remember the days I spent running track and cross country in high school. I remember being encouraged by my coaches to push a little harder and run a little faster. They told me that I could do anything I wanted to do, as long as I was willing to put forth the effort. If they gave the team a workout that required us to run to a certain point and then turn around, I would ALWAYS run to the exact spot I was told to turn around, and turn around. I NEVER turned around early. There were people on the team who did... and it would always make me SO angry. I would always finish the workouts last, or close to last. I would get so mad when I was ahead of people, I reached the turn around point, and as soon as I was coming up on those people, they would just turn around when I passed by them. Then they would pass me up near the end and finish before me. Even talking about it stirs up those old feelings I had about always finishing last.

I hated it. I felt like I ALWAYS put forth a huge effort. I did everything I was suppose to do. I did everything I was asked to do. And all the while, others were cheating and finishing before me. It killed me when the coaches wouldn't put me down for a race during track season... I remember passing around the event list and looking for my name, only to find that it wasn't on the sheet. I would try SO hard not to cry... but it never worked. There were only ever a few times in my entire high school running career that I wasn't scheduled to run, but those days were the hardest for me.

I would go over and over in my head, "What did I do wrong? Is coach mad at me? Am I being punished?" I would sit and stew in my mind and get very angry about not being able to run. I hated feeling inadequate and unworthy to even represent my team during a meet. There were plenty of events to go around... some people even ran 3 events in one night. And I got none. I still don't know exactly why. It was hard... But that's okay...

All of it made me a strong person. A strong runner. I may have not been the fastest, but I know I pushed hard each and every workout and race. It made me appreciate the events I got to participate in. It made me appreciate the fact that I could even run at all. There were times I hated running... but in the end, running was my own therapy. I had a hard childhood and a lot of negative thoughts in my head. At all times. Running helped me work out those feelings and leave them all on the road behind me. 

It was because of all that, I KNOW I can run a marathon. I remember setting the goal to run a marathon when I was younger. (I think the original goal was to run the Boston marathon... just to run it, not compete.) I knew it was something that I wanted to put my time, heart, and body into. I don't think I realized just how long a marathon is! But now that I know, the 26.2 miles don't scare me. My mind does.

That statement might sound silly... but it's true. 

That photo says it all. Exactly what I'm afraid of in a marathon is the voice inside my head telling me to quit... telling me that I'm hurting and that I should stop. But the truth is, my body is capable of AMAZING things. And my mind is going to be worn out LONG before my body is! And even if I'm the last person to cross the finish line, I will finish.

I have finally found the marathon that I will be training for and completing this year! I spent last Saturday planning out all of the 2013 races that I will be doing this year! My current list is:

January 25 - Virtual 5K via Runs For Cookies (Time PR 27:32)

May 11 - YMCA 5K
June 1 - DAM to DAM 20K

July 4 - Independence Day 5K

July 13 - The Color Run 5K (Still in the air, one of my best friends is getting married that day.)

Aug 24 - Restoration Run Half-Marathon (13.1 miles)

Sept 14 - Wabash Trail Marathon (26.2 miles)

Sept 21 - Balloon Chase 5K

Nov TBA - Fireman's 5K

I will also be doing more virtual running events as they are created! Basically what happens during a Virtual run is that you sign up to run a 5K, 10K, or whatever the distance is. You run that event on your own, where ever you are, on the day the event takes place. If you sign up for a 5K, you can either map out a 3.1 mile run around your town or run it on the treadmill. Whatever you're able to do! The best part is, they are FREE running events! This is always good for my family!

I ran my first Virtual 5K yesterday after Zumba. I told my friend, Erin, that I was going to be running a 5K afterwards and she decided to join me! I know my endorphins were high because I started out running at 6.3 mph. It felt too slow, and I thought, "What if I get tired really fast, I'll want to stay at this pace." But I decided to bump it up anyway! I increased my speed to 6.7 mph (or a 9 minute mile). I still felt slow, so I increased my speed again to 7 mph (or an 8:30 minute mile). I came up on having under a half of a mile left and decided to push myself even harder and set the speed to 7.5 mph (or an 8 minute mile). I had a rush of endorphins because I literally felt AMAZING. Runner's high! I was watching my time as the distance increased. When I finally hit the 3.1 mark, I stopped the treadmill and looked at my time of 27:32. I almost fell over with excitement. Seriously! I was dripping with sweat but I felt like I could have kept going. But once I stopped, my body caught up with me and I was exhausted! Erin finished her 5K and told me that she was only going to run 1 mile, but seeing me running pushed her to run a full 5K! I am proud of her! I took photos of my racing bib (my number is the birth months of my girls: March, May, and October), me running, my distance, and my time!

I am hoping that my 5K time on the pavement will be equally amazing as my time on a treadmill! Treadmills have inclines, but when you're running a 5K on roads and/or trails, there are hills and wind. I want to get a sub-30 5K on the pavement! Maybe I'll do Zumba beforehand so I can get my endorphins pumping!

My workouts are the same as always! Zumba, Power Hour, Running, and Swimming. But one thing that is new, I've been doing Jillian's 30 Day Shred this month! I have only missed ONE DAY! Aside from my rest days! The results are AMAZING! My jaw dropped when I looked at my before and after photo... and I'm only on day 25! (See my glorious stretch marks from my babies! Oh Lord...)

My pants go up farther now! Ha! My belly no longer rests on top of them! I just put my pants on this morning and didn't even realize it until I compared my photos. And then I cried... happy tears, of course! I am still very self conscious of my belly and stretch marks, but there they are. Raw. Fading. Boom baby. I am proud of my belly though. I've held three babies in that thing! (Well, technically my uterus has, but you know what I mean!) Getting a tattoo on my side was probably not the best idea in the world... my stretch marks have separated the colors and go through the design! Glorious youth! Oh how I've aged!

Start to Week 1, Week 2, Week 4, Week 7, Week 13, Week 26, and Week 34 progression photo:

Start to Week 34 Photos:

Starting Weight: 202 lbs

Week 1 Weight: 193 lbs

Week 2 Weight: 190 lbs

Week 3 Weight: 190 lbs

Week 4 Weight: 189 lbs

Week 5 Weight: 188 lbs

Week 6 Weight: 184 lbs

Week 7 Weight: 182 lbs

Week 8 Weight: 179 lbs

Week 9 Weight: 177 lbs

Week 10 Weight: 175 lbs

Week 11 Weight: 174 lbs

Week 12 Weight: 173 lbs

Week 13 Weight: 171 lbs

Week 14 Weight: 172 lbs

Week 15 Weight: 173 lbs

Week 16 Weight: 169 lbs

Week 17 Weight: 168 lbs

Week 18 Weight: 167 lbs

Week 19 Weight: 166 lbs

Week 20 Weight: 164 lbs

Week 21 Weight: 162 lbs

Week 22 Weight: 161 lbs

Week 23 Weight: 160 lbs

Week 24 Weight: 157 lbs

Week 25 Weight: 159 lbs

Week 26 Weight: 155 lbs
Week 27 Weight: 151 lbs
Week 28 Weight: 156 lbs
Week 29 Weight: 155 lbs
Week 30 Weight: 154 lbs
Week 31 Weight: 154 lbs
Week 32 Weight: 153 lbs
Week 33 Weight: 152 lbs
Week 34 Weight: 151 lbs

Weight Lost Since Week 30: 3 lbs

Total Weight Lost: 51 lbs

Weight To Go: 16 lbs

I have spent the past 10 weeks in the 150's! It has been very frustrating for me. It's hard when I work really hard during my workouts and stay within my calorie range for each day, and the scale doesn't move. I tend to binge when I stress. I have had a few binge nights lately. Not HUGE binges, but a binge is a binge. And they suck. I will even say to myself, "Do not self-sabotage yourself Carie! You don't even want what you're eating! You are just stressed!" And yet, I still eat... Then when I get on the scale the next morning, I beat myself up for the binge. Which stresses me out even more.

It is a vicious cycle.

I have decided to start seeing the positive about my body and my weight. I want to free myself from my emotional attachment to food and my food addictions. I have realized more and more as this journey goes on just how attached I am to food. I've said it before, but I seem to keep forgetting. I noticed myself putting a huge bag of Lay's potato chips in my shopping cart last week. I snapped out of it and put the chips back on the shelf. I kept asking myself why I had even grabbed the chips. I went home and cried about it. I sobbed. Over potato chips. I kept telling myself that it was ridiculous to cry over freaking potato chips. But there I was... sobbing over them.

I started my period the next morning. (Sorry fellas, TMI... but this has a point to it!) I realized right then and there that I ALWAYS buy a huge bag of potato chips the day before I start. I never realized it until that moment. I realized then that I wasn't being ridiculous, I was breaking a cycle. My body craves salty foods, which make me bloat like crazy. Downing an entire bag of salty potato chips was horrible for my body. So on top of my period bloating, my body was being loaded with salt, which makes your body retain water. I didn't cramp as bad. I didn't have crazy cravings. I felt clear.

I started talking to my family about this. About eating healthier. Not just being healthier, but eating healthier. My sister-in-law mentioned the movie Hungry For Change. (It is on Netflix and Hulu. Watch it.) We talked about how the companies making our food pump them full of crap that makes us addicted to it. High fructose corn syrup is in almost EVERYTHING on the shelves at the store. MSG is in a ton of stuff and it is hidden under different names. It is insane. I felt outraged when I watched the documentary. I was ON FIRE. I felt helpless. Until the point in the movie when Joe Cross showed up. I remembered him from the documentary Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead. (It is also on Netflix and Hulu. Watch it, too.) Then I remembered his stand on Juicing. We can juice fresh produce and have the micro and macro nutrients that are super healthy for our bodies absorbed within minutes of drinking them. There are so many health benefits of juicing. Charles and I are purchasing a juicer with our income tax money so that we can start juicing! You KNOW what you are putting into your body when you juice. When you buy bottled juice from the store, you are putting added chemicals and crap into your body. Which makes it harder for your system to digest and heal itself.

I think a huge part of breaking my food addictions is eating food that is as close to natural as possible. When we eat healthy food, our bodies will crave the healthy food. Sure, a food craving for ice cream or candy bars may arise, but it is SO much easier to fight them off when you think about what you would be putting into your body. Our bodies WANT to be healthy. I want to give my body the healthiest food that I possibly can. That includes the types of meat that I consume. I won't get too much into this, but I want meat from animals that aren't pumped full of hormones. Animals that are free range and grass fed. Reading labels and seeing what is in the food that I purchase and eat has helped me feel better about my health.

I also realized that part of my problem is that I still see the "old Carie" when I look into the mirror. And I am very hard on myself when it comes to my "problem areas" on my body. In the movie Hungry For Change, Dr. Christiane Northrup suggests a daily affirmation, “I accept myself unconditionally right now.” She writes it on a prescription card for her patients. You are suppose to tape it to a mirror and read it, out loud, to yourself for 30 days. It takes your brain that long to learn that simple truth. I am going to start doing this on Monday. I think that it will help me by leaps and bounds. I am learning how to love myself. I thought it would come easy with weight loss, but it is proving to be a struggle. Like most things in life! 

My plan for the next month is to keep up on clean eating and drinking LOTS of water. I am making small changes each day. I learned the hard way that it's not good to go cold turkey on sugar! So I am going to be weaning myself each day. I want to start a binge-free streak as well. And be honest about it. Today is day one. (I can do this!) I am also going to start lifting to build more muscle to burn the fat that is still on my body. I'm thinking of lifting twice a week for right now while I finish Jillian's 30DS. Afterwards, I think I'll go three or four times a week, depending on what's going on. (I'm still trying to wean my baby from breastfeeding.)

I am starting the Live Healthy Iowa 10 week challenge on Monday. I have also signed up on TheBiggestLoser.com for a 6 week challenge to reach my goal weight of 135 lbs in the next six weeks. That's roughly 2 pounds a week! I've gotta get moving! Talk about motivation!

My motto right now:

The "Green" Shirt

I remember the day I walked into Gordman's and purchased the green polka-dot shirt that was a size XL. I remember being in denial about purchasing an extra-large shirt. I didn't think I looked that bad. How was it possible that I had let myself go... But the truth was, the shirt was still too small for me.

I bought it before my husband and I went to Texas for a wedding in August of 2008. I was a few weeks pregnant with Caitlin, not enough to "show". But I used it as my excuse to be getting larger. I wore the shirt with a brown skirt (size XL) to our friend's rehearsal dinner. I tried to stay out of the way of the photographer, but he snapped some unexpected photos of me. I was horrified when I saw the outcome a few months later when the photos were posted to Facebook.

All that is in the past now! Now I can wear the shirt and not worry about being too big for it! It is too big for me! I have to use the tie that is around the middle to hold the extra fabric from the shirt!

I can honestly say that I NEVER thought I'd be wearing a size 12 jean with medium/large shirts! I thought my boobs would always be too big and hanging out the top of my shirts... but I guess when you lose 50 pounds, your boobs shrink! I am thankful for that! I makes working out, running, and getting dressed MUCH easier!

I am excited to see how the shirt fits me when I reach my goal weight!

My Sunbeam

Last Sunday, my sister-in-law told me that Caitlin would be in the Sunbeam class the next Sunday. I was taken by surprise... I thought, "She can't be that old yet!" But indeed, she is!

Today was Caitlin Nadine's first day of Primary!

I drew on the chalkboard and had her write her name underneath! She was so excited to write on the chalkboard, too! It was a proud moment for me to watch my baby write her own name.

Caitlin didn't do very well during the Sunbeam class. She was afraid of her new teacher, and even though Charles and I told her that she would be okay, she wouldn't calm down and stay. She didn't attend class. By sharing time, she was ready to participate and play with the older kids! She did very well and we heard awesome reports!

Caitlin is writing her own name and is in Primary... is this for real?! It makes me miss the first few weeks after she was born. In those weeks, I would just stare at her and think of all the things Caitlin would do in her life! My mind reached far and high with the endless possibilities she has ahead of her. A whole world of opportunities. But I think I forgot that she needed to take baby steps to get to those places. She still needed to learn how to write her name!

I taught her that. I spent countless hours singing the "ABC" song with her and countless hours side by side with her writing each letter of the alphabet over and over again. I took those moments for granted! I mean, I cherished the time we spent together, but I guess I forgot that she was going to be able to do things without my help someday. She wouldn't need me to spell out her name and show her how to write each letter...

She's growing too fast. It makes me sad.

But it has to happen this way. She's my oldest! She is my helper! I have grown to love Caitlin in ways that only a mother can. I see things in her that I wish I still had... an endless curiosity for everything around me, a constant desire to learn and grow... I think that I find myself caught up in the day-to-day hustle and I forget to stop and look around. Smell the roses. Watch my little girl grow up.

It is happening right before my eyes and I am powerless to slow it down.

I thank God each and every moment of each and every day for Caitlin! I love that girl SO much!

Righteous Resolutions for 2013

Happy New Year 2013!

We started off 2012 with our resolutions posted on this blog. I wanted to let you all know how we did on our resolutions and what our new ones are for 2013!

Our resolutions for 2012 were:

1. Read from the Book of Mormon every single day - We started off strong, slacked off, but then started up again and stuck it out for the rest of the year!
2. Read the entire Book of Mormon as a family - We got half-way through.
3. Have FHE each Monday, no excuses - We started off strong, but stopped in March for good reason. Makes us sad to think/talk about, but we did have FHE every Sunday with Charles' family.
4. Family prayer each morning and night, on our knees - We got a few months in, then only did the night time prayer each day. 
5. Be full tithe payers for the entire year - We were late twice.
6. Pay off some debt - We used some of our income tax and payed off our credit cards!
7. Go to the temple 4 times - We only made it once.
8. Spend time each night as a family for an hour or so - Completed in full!
9. Get healthy - We both started eating healthier in June!
10. Get fit - We both started working out in June! Charles lost 20 pounds, Carie lost 51 pounds!
11. Get the remodel done upstairs - This did not happen...
12. Plant our garden - We bought the seeds, but never planted them.
13. Start using more coupons - Started right away and still use them now!
14. Make the change to Cloth Diapers - We made a full transition and have saved so much money!

We had a good year sticking to most of our resolutions. Aside from the ones we didn't even do, we are very pleased with our efforts! We decided to make our new resolutions more practical. Not that some goals aren't worth setting a high bar for, we just hate being let down at the end of the year knowing that we shot too high. Most of our resolutions and goals are going to be repeated, because they are very important to us! So here are our new resolutions and goals:

Austin Family Goals 2013

1. Read from the Book of Mormon every single day
2. Read the entire Book of Mormon as a family
3. Have FHE each Monday, no excuses
4. Family prayer each morning and night, on our knees
5. Be full tithe payers for the entire year, 100%
6. Do our Home Teaching/Visiting Teaching, 100%
7. Go to the temple two times
8. Make a budget each month
9. Pay off debt
10. Save money for emergencies and Christmas
11. Build up our food storage
12. Continue eating healthy and working out
13. Finish the upstairs remodel, especially the girls' room
14. Keep up on housework, especially the kitchen
15. Go to bed early, early to rise
16. Put God first in all aspects of our life

We are very excited for 2013 and what the Lord has planned for our family. We spent the day today talking about our goals and refocusing on our spiritual needs. We realized that we've been pretty terrible about saying our individual prayers and getting into repetitive prayers for our family prayers. We want to focus on talking to our Heavenly Father, repenting for our sins and weaknesses, and expressing our gratitude for the many, many blessing that he has given us. We haven't been putting God first, so that, most of all, is our biggest goal for 2013.

We wish you all the very best 2013! 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Kid Interviews 2013

Our annual kid interviews!

Caitlin Nadine, August 2012, age 3

1. Who is your mom? Mommy
2. What does she do? Makes me food!
3. Who is your daddy? Daddy
4. What does he do? Goes to work!
5. What is your favorite color? Blue
6. What do you want to do when you grow up? A teacher and Mommy
7. What is your favorite breakfast? Rainbow cereal (Fruity Pebbles)
8. What is your favorite lunch? Hot Dogs
9. What is your favorite dinner? Tatoes and gravy
10. What is your favorite snack? Cheese crackers (Goldfish, Cheeze-It's, etc)
11. What food do you not like? Yucky food
12. What is your favorite animal? Whales
13.Where do you want to live when you grow up? Right here
14. What do mom and dad do when you go to bed? Jammies, scripture, and prayer
15. What does daddy say? I love you!
16. What does mommy say? I love you!
17. What is your favorite song? Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star
18. What is your favorite movie? The Lorax
19. What is your favorite ice cream? Vanilla
20. Where is your favorite place to eat? Grandma's
21. Who is your favorite person? Mommy
22. Who is your best friend? Rosie
23. What is your favorite book? Goodnight Moon
24. Who are your brothers/sisters? Rosie and Vivi
25. Where did they come from? Mommy
26. What is your favorite thing to do? Dance
27. What is your favorite toy? Play Doh

Rosalie Cadence, August 2012, age 2

1. Who is your mom? Mommy
2. What does she do? *giggles*
3. Who is your daddy? Daddy
4. What does he do? *giggles*
5. What is your favorite color? Red
6. What do you want to do when you grow up? Tall, tall, tall!
7. What is your favorite breakfast? O's (Cheerios)
8. What is your favorite lunch? Dogs (Hot Dogs)
9. What is your favorite dinner? Beans
10. What is your favorite snack? Gummy snacks
11. What food do you not like? *giggles*
12. What is your favorite animal? Tiger
13.Where do you want to live when you grow up? Here!
14. What do mom and dad do when you go to bed? Scriptures
15. What does daddy say? La-you (Love you)
16. What does mommy say? La-you (Love you)
17. What is your favorite song? Wheels on the Bus
18. What is your favorite movie? Mermaid (The Little Mermaid)
19. What is your favorite ice cream? YUMMY! (any flavor)
20. Where is your favorite place to eat? Table
21. Who is your favorite person? Mommy
22. Who is your best friend? Caity
23. What is your favorite book? Bear Wants More
24. Who are your brothers/sisters? Caity and Bibia (how she says Vivian)
25. Where did they come from? Mommy
26. What is your favorite thing to do? Color
27. What is your favorite toy? Barbies

Vivian Rane, August 2012, age 1

I would have asked Vivian, but she's not really talking more than saying, "Mama, Mama, Mama!" and "Dada, Dada, Dada!" So please enjoy the above photo of my baby love!

Happy New Year!