Monday, December 30, 2013

Baby #4, Week 13


How far along: 13 weeks
Baby is the size of: a peapod, about 3 inches long!
Gender Prediction: Boy!
Total Weight Gain: 8 pounds (I thought it'd be more with the holidays!)
Starting to show yet?: Yes! Finally!
Maternity clothes: Yes! Finally! I am SO much more comfortable!
Stretch marks: Just a lot of old ones.
Belly button in or out: In
Sleep: It depends. We moved our bedroom upstairs and it's taking a few nights for me to get use to. I've also been getting hot flashes at night. I woke up this morning covered in sweat.
Movement: Not yet.
Best moment this week: Christmas and seeing all of my in-laws that traveled from Florida and Texas!
Worst moment this week: All of the sickness being passed around by the family. It's been bad.
Miss anything: Working out, NOT being sick, and smaller boobs.
Wedding rings on or off?: On
Cravings: Pasta in any form.
Aversions: Raw chicken.
Appetite: Normal
Queasy or sick: Queasy off and on. My morning sickness only comes once in a while now. THANK GOODNESS!!!!
Workouts: Non-existent with all of the family in town and all of the sickness going around. I have to be home to tend my sick girls. Plus Charles was sick, so I had to tend to him, too. No real free time for me to leave my house this past week.
Emotionally: Doing MUCH better since my prenatal appointment last week. I feel like I better understand my emotions and where they are coming from. I am finally celebrating my pregnancy, wearing maternity clothes, and NOT sucking in my belly anymore! (I did that for fear that someone would tell me I look "fat" or "larger" than someone should look at only 12/13 weeks pregnant.) I don't cry as much or as often as I did the first few weeks. I feel like I am getting a better hold on my emotions!
Physically: Still a little bloating, but I feel so much better than the early weeks! I am itching to move my body. I haven't hardly worked out in the past six weeks and I can tell. Maybe I'm just being a bit vain, but I can tell that I've gained weight. And I wonder what other people would say/think about my weight gain. Yes, it probably seems silly because I am pregnant, but I don't want to use that as a crutch to not workout and eat what I want. It's the morning sickness, flu, and everything else that has hit my family that has kept me from working out. But I can feel the weight. In my face, arms, butt, thighs, etc. I feel it all the time. Since my lowest weight right before the marathon, I've gained almost 20 pounds. I weighed myself the day I found out I was pregnant (the morning of, I took the test later that evening), and that's what I've been going by for my total weight gain. Mind you, I stopped running almost completely after the marathon, and that is where I feel that I went wrong. Again, I feel vain talking about it. I know plenty of women who would give anything to be at my current weight. But I honestly never thought the transition from losing weight, to maintaining my weight, to being pregnant would be so hard on me physically and mentally. I want to NOT care what people think, but some people are so mean and critical. I am trying to focus on the fact that physically, I feel great. I am loving my body for holding this little life. I still feel strong. Even through the weight gain. I feel great. It's all in my head... which it's easier to say that I can shut off those thoughts, when really, I am having trouble shutting off those unkind thoughts towards myself. 
Looking forward to: Working out! Running! Week 14! Finding out the baby's gender (no date set for an ultrasound yet.)!

Monday, December 23, 2013

Baby #4, WEEK 12


How far along: 12 WEEKS!!!!
Baby is the size of: a lime
Gender Prediction: Boy!
Weight gain: 7 pounds total, I can tell/feel it
Starting to show yet?: I do believe so! (Finally!)
Maternity clothes: Not yet!
Stretch marks: Just a lot of old ones!
Belly button in or out: In
Sleep: I have been going through a comfortable phase in my bed! I am LOVING it! And I have found that I can only sleep in one position: laying on my left side.  
Movement: Not yet, but I know that he/she is moving around!
Best moment this week: Hearing baby's heartbeat at my 12 week appointment today! 150 bpm!
Worst moment this week: The anxiety leading up to my appointment. 
Miss anything: Working out! I have been SO busy this week with helping the girls' school, shopping, cleaning, and more. 'Tis the season!
Wedding rings on or off?: On
Cravings: Pancakes with strawberry-rhubarb jelly, Fried Eggs, Apples, Yogurt, PASTA!
Aversions: Chocolate, Peanut Butter (totally strange to me since I LOVE both of those things!)
Appetite: Normal! 
Queasy or sick: It depends on the day! If I don't get a large breakfast, I feel queasy by lunch.
Emotionally: I'm finding it hard to control my emotions at times. And I feel like I'm going to have an anxiety attack at least twice a day. I feel so overwhelmed all the time. Most days, all I want to do is sit on the couch, veg, and watch Neflix. But at the same time, I am so overwhelmed with the generosity of others during this time of year. My family has been blessed in SO many ways and my girls will have Christmas presents to open Christmas morning. There are a lot of things that have been going on/have happened in the past few weeks that I haven't been broadcasting on my Facebook. Those things took our complete Christmas budget. It was hard for Charles and I. We. Cried. A. Lot. But now our tears of sadness have changed into tears of joy. We are grateful. We are/have been blessed.
Physically: I feel like I finally look pregnant! I think this week my body changed a bit in the way I'm carrying the baby. Not sure why, but feel like I've "popped" more. Perhaps because this is my fourth child? I can finally feel my energy coming back! I am still exhausted most days, but I get a burst of energy at random times during the day! I make the most of them and clean! Or have dance parties with my girls! Or even alone! But afterwards, all I want to do is nap! Haha! I still have pimples on my face that are driving me insane. They just don't go away. BLAH! And they are always SUPER noticeable. I hate feeling like I'm going through puberty all over again! 
Looking forward to: The 20 week mark! Finding out what Baby Austin is! (Though I'm not sure when that ultrasound will be just yet!) Seems like everyone is voting for a little boy! I keep dreaming that it's a boy! I'm also looking forward to the gender-reveal party for my family!

Side note!
I talked to my doctor today about my stress/anxiety about this baby. And, as it turns out, given my history, everything that I am feeling is completely normal. I keep waiting for the floor to fall out from under me. I feel like if I accept this pregnancy, it will go away. If I finally wear maternity clothes, I will lose the baby. I felt like these were irrational fears. But talking to my doctor today put me at ease! These are totally normal things to feel! Sure, I have history with depression and pregnancy loss, and at times, it's hard to tell if I'm feeling depressed or if it's just normal human emotions. I haven't really celebrated this baby yet.

I have been too afraid to. I felt like if I were to celebrate him/her, he/she would go away... So after talking to my doctor and Charles, and a lot of prayer, I've decided to let my emotions go and CELEBRATE this little life growing inside of me! I already feel liberated and it's only been a few hours since my appointment!

I am so excited for this baby! I pray that God will continue to bless my body to be strong enough to carry this baby full term and deliver him/her safely! That this baby will be healthy and strong. Every single moment of this pregnancy will be celebrated! Yes, I will probably still complain every now and then... but that won't take away from the fact that I am a sacred vessel for a precious new life!

I am owning it. I am owning my pregnancy and rejoicing in it! I am happy! I am pregnant!

Merry Christmas!

Monday, December 16, 2013

Baby #4, Week 11


How far along: 11 weeks
Baby is the size of: a fig!
Gender Prediction: Boy!
Weight gain: I forgot to weigh myself this morning... 
Starting to show yet?: I'm starting to feel like this is more than just bloating, but I know the baby is still small. This is my fourth pregnancy! I think my body is relaxing a bit to prepare to carry a big baby!
Maternity clothes: Not yet, although I wore a maternity shirt the other day and I was SO much more comfortable!
Stretch marks: Just a lot of old ones!
Belly button in or out: In
Sleep: Great! Although I'll have nights where I wake up for a few hours and just think, pray, and plan.
Movement: Not yet!
Best moment this week: All three girls giving my belly kisses at night! FINALLY getting my morning all-day sickness under control!
Worst moment this week: The moments when I didn't have any sickness. I kept thinking, "Am I okay? Am I still pregnant? Is the baby okay?!" Over and over again.
Miss anything: Being able to move without hip pain.
Wedding rings on or off?: On
Cravings: Fruit Punch Jolly Ranchers, lemon yogurt
Aversions: Buffalo Chicken flavored anything, chocolate (shocking to me...)
Appetite: Much better than last week! Keeping food down is a wonderful thing! Although I'm starting to get MAJOR heartburn after I eat.
Queasy or sick: There were a few days this week when I had no morning sickness at all. I honestly thought something was wrong with me or the baby... but I got it back later on that night or by the next morning. I'm feeling better, though. I'm not as nauseous as I was before, thank goodness! I think that having the flu made me better able to handle my all-day-sickness!
Workouts: Mostly just walking and Zumba. I'm super tired, but I have energy once I get going. My hips are making it hard to run, but I'm looking forward to visiting the chiropractor next month to help out with my hips! I had to go numerous times with my other pregnancies.
Emotionally: I am still a wreck. I cry about EVERYTHING. During happy movies, sad movies, re-watching last season's Glee episodes(Finn), watching my girls do something sweet.... EVERYTHING. I think about holding my baby, breastfeeding him/her... I get overwhelmed with emotion. I am SO excited to meet this baby! Although I would prefer to meet him/her closer to the 40 week mark!
Physically: Lots of hip pain. I feel like I did with Caitlin's pregnancy. I feel like my body is having to go through all the growing pains again. It's been over 2 years since I was pregnant! I think my body went back to normal, and now we're going back through all the pains again. It hasn't been fun. I'm hoping it will be better once I go to the chiropractor. I am itching to run! I also feel like parts of my body are getting bigger. My legs, arms, love handles, face, etc. I know it's part of pregnancy, but it still sucks to see. After a major weight loss, putting some of it back on to carry a baby has been harder on me than I thought. But I rejoice that my body is carrying this baby. I can worry about my body after the baby. I'm just making sure to eat healthy and drink lots of water. 
Looking forward to: The second trimester (next week! EEK!) Feeling the baby move! Finding out the gender!

Monday, December 9, 2013

Baby #4, Week 10


How far along: 10 weeks
Baby is the size of: A kumquat! 
Gender Prediction: Boy!
Weight gain: 2 pounds, 3 pounds total
Starting to show yet?: Just bloated still! 
Maternity clothes: Not yet!
Stretch marks: Just a lot of old ones.
Belly button in or out: In
Sleep: It depends. I've been so sick this past week. I had the stomach flu that was going around. It made it hard for me to sleep. I felt so nauseous even when I was laying down.
Movement: Not yet!
Best moment this week: Zofran! Charles and I agreed on a baby name for BOTH genders! They will be a secret until Baby #4 is born! So don't ask!
Worst moment this week: The countless times I had to run to the bathroom to throw up...
Miss anything: Working out.
Wedding rings on or off?: On
Cravings: None this week.
Appetite: None. I finally got a small appetite Friday, but it comes and goes.
Queasy or sick: Both. Having all-day-sickness and the flu was NOT fun. I found that lemon yogurt helped my morning sickness and Zofran helped with the nausea from the flu.
Workouts: I attempted to go to Zumba and had to leave half way through. My stomach and intestines were killing me. (TMI: part of the flu was having diarrhea... it was awful) I barely made it home without throwing up. I hope this week will be better for me! I wasn't able to workout all last week. 
Emotionally: Not working out was/is taking a toll on me. I use it to work out stress and feel better... and when I can barely walk through my house without throwing up, I knew working out wasn't going to happen. It was hard on me emotionally. I miss my friends. I found myself feeling sorry for myself a lot this week, too. I threw a pity-party almost daily. I just didn't want to throw up again. I always cry. Every. Single. Time. And that was messing with my emotions and feelings. I just wanted to sleep and wake up when my flu was gone. I was basically an emotional wreck... which is normal because of my history with anxiety and depression. I am focusing on all that God has blessed me with. Counting my blessings has helped!
Physically: I'm exhausted. I feel dehydrated all the time. Even though I've been getting plenty of rest and liquids. Being sick hasn't been nice on my body. No one else in my house is sick... I don't know if I just got slammed with it all because I'm pregnant? Also, I am sure that my boobs have gone up another cup size... I wish they'd stop growing now!
Looking forward to: The Second Trimester. Working out again. Running again.

Monday, December 2, 2013

Baby #4, Week 9


How far along: 9 weeks
Baby is the size of: A grape!
Gender Prediction: Boy
Weight gain: 0 lbs this week, 1 lb total so far
Starting to show yet?: Still just bloated! Really bloated... I basically get no relief... So I always look like I'm showing when I'm not. I'm in that awkward, "Is she gaining weight or is she pregnant?" stage. I look larger this week than I did at the start of last week, but again, I'm just miserably bloated.
Maternity clothes: Not yet!
Stretch marks: Just a lot of old ones!
Belly button in or out: In
Sleep: Great! Even better when I workout!
Movement: Not yet! 
Best moment this week: Vivian pointing to my belly and saying, "Shhhh! Baby is sleeping!" She's such a great big sister already! She even hugs and kisses my belly/the baby! Playing air-hockey against Charles was pretty fantastic, too! That was a riot! He beat me, but barely! 
Worst moment this week: The car ride home from Iowa City. I was car sick the ENTIRE three hour ride. I puked when we got home, and didn't stop until about 10:00 that night. It. Was. AWFUL.
Miss anything: Smaller boobs... 
Wedding rings on or off?: On
Cravings: Clementines
Aversions: Hamburger/Ground Beef
Appetite: Started off with a great appetite, but since Saturday's repeat throw-up, I have had trouble eating. Everything scares me. My stomach feels awful after I eat.
Queasy or sick: Both this week. I am SO glad that I didn't throw up in the car! I hate being sick. I always cry when I throw up, so Saturday was not a pretty afternoon/night for me.
Workouts: I substitute taught Zumba on Monday(Nov. 25)! I was so exhausted before class, but once I got started, my energy came back to me and I had plenty for class! I got home and crashed on the couch! I didn't exercise the rest of the week! Yikes! I was so, so busy with packing, traveling, and the holiday! That will change this week! I'm ready to get my body moving again!
Emotionally: I have felt so overwhelmed this week. But in a good way. Overwhelmed with love and thankfulness. I got to spend time with both of my families (my side and Charles' side) and even with some amazing friends! I got to bake pies (one of my most favorite things to do!), make a cheesecake, help my Mom in her kitchen, spend time with my brother and his family, and more... my heart was/is so full of love! God is so good! Saturday and Sunday I was a bit more down. That was because of the throwing-up thing and generally feeling like crap. I just couldn't shake it off. Even today, my stomach isn't quite right.
Physically: I'm not as tired as I have been. Maybe it's the power naps I've been taking in the afternoons? My hips and lower back have been KILLING me. Moving around is fine, but if I stand wrong, oh boy... it's not the greatest feeling ever. 
Looking forward to: The second trimester! No more throwing up!


Monday, November 25, 2013

Baby #4, Week 8

Still just bloated... yay...
How far along: 8 weeks
Baby is the size of: A kidney bean!
Gender Prediction: Boy
Weight gain: 1 pound
Starting to show yet?: Still bloated... so not quite sure!
Maternity clothes: Not yet!
Stretch marks: Just a lot of old ones!
Belly button in or out: In
Sleep: Great! Even better when I workout!
Movement: Not yet!
Best moment this week: Seeing all the positive feedback on Facebook for Baby #4! I honestly thought people wouldn't be so supportive... I get a lot of, "You know how that happens? Right?"... and maybe those people are trying to be funny, but it hurts my feelings. Charles and I want a large family. God willing, this will not be our last child. Trust me. WE KNOW HOW TO MAKE BABIES. We've had plenty of practice!
Worst moment this week: The anxiety I had about losing this baby. I've had no negative symptoms, I just get so scared that something is going to go wrong. This week, my hormones were all out of whack and I had a major break down about the possibility of losing this baby. Charles and I said a prayer together and we were comforted!
Miss anything: I'm still missing smaller boobs...
Wedding rings on or off?: On
Cravings: Oranges
Appetite: Hearty. I have to be careful though! I'm eating more, but moving less. I know it's alright to gain weight while pregnant, I just need to start keeping track of my food. I only need 300 extra calories a day. Not three extra servings of each meal! Drinking a lot of water has helped me cut back on my serving sizes!
Queasy or sick: Queasy. It gets better when I don't miss a meal or snack. If I miss one of those things, my body goes into queasy mode. Also, riding in the car is NOT GOOD. I can drive, but being a passenger is a totally different experience for me. I get car sick SO fast.
Workouts: I didn't work out during the beginning of the week. I just didn't feel good. Walking across the house made me feel sick. By Thursday, I was feeling more like myself and decided to try Power Hour and Aqua Zumba! I made it through both classes just fine! 
Emotionally: I am worried and stressed more than I'd like to admit. I constantly worry that I'm going to lose the baby. I won't say that it's an irrational fear, I've lost four babies in my time. So every time I feel gassy or bloated, I instantly think that I'm cramping and going to lose the baby. I try to remain positive, but my fears get the best of me. And I cry. I am trying to adjust my thinking and stay positive, but I am scared. I pray 100+ times a day that this baby is safe, healthy, and growing.
Physically: I am still beyond exhausted! I cannot pull myself out of bed in the mornings. Even getting up to pee in the middle of the night is a chore! I feel like I'm crawling out of a hole! All I want to do is lounge around and sleep. My pimple/acne problem is clearing up slowly. I've made sure to get all of my water each day and it's helping! It's hard to drink so much when I have to pee every five minutes!
Looking forward to: Entering the second trimester! Worrying/Stressing less.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Running for TWO!

We have been keeping a HUGE secret!


Vivian is going to be a BIG SISTER in July of 2014!

Charles and I found out, literally, minutes before taking our girls trick-or-treating for Halloween!

Rewind to the Sunday before Halloween: I was super bloated and crampy because I was to start my period the next day. But I didn't... I have gone a few days late before and have negative pregnancy tests. So I didn't think too much of it this time. Tuesday, no start. Wednesday, not start. Halloween was that Thursday.

Before we got ready to go, I took a shower. When I got out of the shower, I stood on the bath mat talking to Charles. He looked at me weird and said, "Weren't you suppose to have started your period?" I was confused and surprised by his question. (TMI warning!) When I'm on my period, I usually have to rush to put a pad on after my showers, and when I was just standing there talking to him, he was a little confused by it. He knew I was suppose to start on Monday. I told him that I have been this late before and not been pregnant. He gave me a sideways look and told me that he was going to get a pregnancy test from Walmart.

As I was looking up costume ideas (I still didn't know what I wanted to go as!), I realized that my boobs felt fuller than normal. I laughed a little about it, but then I started getting a little scared. What if I am pregnant? What would that mean for my weight loss and next year's running season? I decided to put off those questions until I knew the results of the pregnancy test. I also decided to go as Queen Amidala from Star Wars. I had a Queen Vampire costume, so I just needed to paint my face.

Charles walked back through the door and handed me the test. I finished getting my face painted and getting the girls ready to leave for trick-or-treating. Our friends Rumy and Amanda had showed up to help us trick-or-treat with our girls. While they were outside taking pictures, I went inside to take the test. Within, literally, five seconds, this is what I saw:


I was in shock! I sat down for a minute to process it... then called Charles inside to look at the test. We both looked at each other, again, in shock, and I said, "Here we go!"

Caitlin as a Ballerina
Rosalie as Princess Belle
Vivian as a Care Bear
Star Wars Love
Me as Queen Amidala and Charles as Darth Vader
We were in shock! The entire time while trick-or-treating. Afterwards. The next day. The next week... I only told two friends during the first week, and that was to have their input on some races I had already signed up to run next year in the Spring. We weren't sure if we were going to announce it to our families until I had the first ultrasound. But we decided to go ahead and announce it. We told our family on Friday, November 8th. We put a "Big Sister" shirt on Vivian and said, "You have to see Vivian's new shirt!". We got SO many excited claps and hugs! Some people got it right away, others it took a minute before they realized what that meant! Then we told our close friends the same way! Each was met with big hugs and cheering!

Now that we've announced it to the Facebook world, I want to start documenting my week-by-week with the online surveys some of my friends have been posting for their own pregnancies! Here we go!

Pretty sure I'm just bloated!
Our first ultrasound at 7 weeks, 1 day
How far along: 7 weeks, 3 days
Baby is the size of: A blueberry!
Gender Prediction: I'm thinking BOY! This pregnancy is completely different from my others... I know that it doesn't necessarily mean that I'm carrying a boy, it's just how I feel! Some of it might be wishful thinking! Honestly, I'll be happy with whatever God blesses us with! Charles and Caitlin are also thinking it's a boy! Rosalie thinks it's a girl! Vivian thinks it's a duck!
Weight gain: Nothing yet! Although I feel bigger... more puffy.
Starting to show yet?: Yes! I think... Which seems crazy to me... but this is my fourth child! My uterus knows what it's doing! Or it might just be bloating... probably just bloating.
Maternity clothes: Not yet! Although my clothes are getting tighter in the bust and belly section! I've had to up a bra size! (The joys of pregnancy!)
Stretch marks: Just a lot of old ones!
Belly button in or out: In
Sleep: Fantastic! Minus getting up to pee every now and then!
Movement: Nothing yet!
Best moment this week: Seeing our baby and his/her heart on the ultrasound!
Worst moment this week: Waiting for the ultrasound... I have a history of having bad moments during the first ultrasound... 
Miss anything: Smaller boobs... Running longer than a mile without having to stop to pee...
Wedding rings on or off?: On
Cravings: Pickle Wraps, Apple Cinnamon Cheerios, Avocados, Salad with Hidden Valley Ranch, Oranges
Appetite: I feel like I'm eating everything! I am constantly hungry! AT ALL TIMES. It doesn't go away. I drink about 80 ounces of water a day and I still feel like I'm starving. I am eating five small meals with two to three healthy snacks a day. 
Queasy or sick: Queasy all the time. It doesn't really go away. Some moments are worse than others. When I workout, I'm fine! But within 10 minutes of finishing, I have to lay down because I'm so nauseous.
Workouts: I haven't really been running since I found out about the pregnancy. I'm so, so queasy and all of the jostling of my stomach doesn't help. I've had some good runs and some bad runs. It doesn't help that I'm SO tired all the time. I try waking up early to run or workout and end up falling back asleep. Oops! I'm going to start running with a time goal instead of a mile goal. So instead of saying, "I'm going to run three miles today!", I'm going to say, "I'm going to run for 30 minutes!" That way I don't get down if I can't finish my miles. I tried running three miles a few weekends ago and my body was just not up for it. I made it... but I was regretting it afterwards. I still go to Zumba, Aqua Zumba, and Power Hour. I've just toned it down a bit so that I don't harm myself or the baby.
Emotionally: I am so, so happy! This was what I wanted after finishing the marathon! I have had some serious mood swings. Happy one minute, down the next... It's hard for me because I love being pregnant. I wasn't expecting to be a little down, but with my history of postpartum depression, my Doctor said that this is normal and that I have nothing to worry about! I was also feeling down because I had set some major running goals for next year. It's okay! They will be my goals for 2015 instead!
Physically: I hate that I have had terrible pimples/acne since finding out. They are everywhere on my face. Especially along my chin/jaw line and my forehead. Hopefully it will get better soon! It makes me terribly self-conscious of my face. I am also extremely bloated all the time. No relief. I've cut back on foods that can give me gas/bloating, and nothing is working. Guess I'll just have to look like I'm showing when I'm not...
Looking forward to: Entering the second trimester! Less nausea and bloating!

While Charles and I are overjoyed to share this journey with you, please know that we know that nothing is guaranteed. We have lost babies before and we know that that is a possibility with this pregnancy. But we believe that each pregnancy is worth celebrating... even the ones that end too soon. We've lost babies before, and we vowed to never announce our future pregnancies until we knew for sure that everything was fine. But we've changed our minds. We want to share our news. We want our family and friends in the loop. We want our girls to know that there is a baby brother or sister inside of Mommy's tummy and that it's okay to tell their teachers and friends! We don't want to live in fear of loss, but rather live in gratitude for every minute I have been blessed with carrying this pregnancy.

We ask for your prayers and kind thoughts. We know that babies are miracles! We are nervous for the future, but we are also hopeful! I haven't had any bad signs or symptoms yet. And this is the first pregnancy I will have with a healthy, fit body. I am excited for the future and I am glad you are along for the journey!

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Our Family Photos 2013

We started a tradition two years ago taking photos in the fall. I was very pregnant with Miss Vivian when Karmen offered to take some maternity/family photos for us! Here are some comparison photos!



Karmen was very excited to get some more practice shooting pictures and I think that she did a fantastic job! It took us about an hour to get these shots in! Vivian sat still for the first photo, then wanted to play! We had trouble getting a solo shot of her, but Karmen did the best she could! I was/am very  happy with the outcomes! Here are our family photos for 2013:

















Thursday, September 26, 2013

2013 Wabash Trace Nature Trail Marathon Race Recap

It all started in high school. I had been running track since junior high, but my sophomore year in high school(2002), I watched the Boston Marathon on TV. I thought, "What's so special about people running that it needs to be televised?!" I couldn't understand what all the hype was about until I heard the distance involved in the thing. Twenty-six point two miles. I was watching people finish a marathon with some pretty amazing times! I thought, "I could do that!", so I made it a goal! One day, I would run the Boston Marathon!

Fast forward ten years later to the beginning of 2012. I was, at the time, unknowingly suffering from postpartum depression after the birth of my third child. I was overweight, unhealthy, and severely unhappy. If you would've told me that in the next year I would run a marathon, I would've laughed in your face.

The week I started my weight loss journey, I had a friend who told me she was training for the Dam to Dam in Des Monies. I thought, "Training?! That's a little extreme!" Oh, how uneducated I was about running! I mean, I understood the need to run before an event, but I never looked at it as "training". I decided to look into it and was sucked back into the world of running! Within a few weeks, I had decided to start the couch-to-5K running plan. That was the beginning of my own 26.2 mile journey!

Since that time, I ran the Dam-to-Dam, a half-marathon, and numerous 5K's. I decided earlier this year that I wanted to run the Wabash Trace Nature Trail marathon because it is one of the only marathons that is held on a Saturday in my state. (Why don't I run on Sunday's? Find out why here!) Before I even started training for the Dam-to-Dam, I bought a calendar and wrote down the half marathon training schedule AND the full marathon training schedule from Hal Higdon. It gave me 27 weeks worth of training. I was excited and ready to get started!


I had two friends who were going to run it with me, but through the year, both ladies decided to not run it. It was hard for me, mentally, to even want to run it knowing that I was going to be training and running it alone. But I had already made up my mind. I decided to continue through and run the marathon.

The week leading up to the marathon, a lot of plans fell through! At one point, I thought that I was going to have to sleep in my car the night before the marathon, but through prayer, my husband and I found a way to make everything work! Our entire family would be staying in a hotel room together! We knew it was going to be a challenge, but I was excited to have my family with me!

My race fuel, post race fuel, and the book I read and re-read!
I also decided to dedicate my run to my cousin, Cody, who is fighting Ewing's Sarcoma! It is a rare form of bone/soft tissue cancer. I decided to wear my yellow racing top! But it wasn't quite complete without a little bit of support for the Iowa Hawkeyes! They would be having their rivalry game after the marathon, so I used some puffy paint and gold glitter to make a Hawkeye head on my top!


The night before the marathon, we got to our hotel and had supper. I had made spaghetti the night before and decided to take the leftovers with me so I could carb-load the night before! It was just as delicious as the day before when I had it for supper!


The girls spent most of the night jumping on the bed and playing in the covers!


While the girls played, Charles watched some TV while I got everything ready for the race! I pinned my bib on my racing shirt, made sure I had everything I needed for the race, and double checked my bags!


It was a little overwhelming trying to get everyone to sleep in the same bed! The girls kept playing and giggling. We were in bed at 8:00 p.m. and everyone, except for me, was asleep by 9:45 p.m.! Vivian had basically pushed me off of the bed. If I were to have fallen asleep or relaxed, I would've fallen off the bed. So I decided that it would be best for me to sleep on the floor. I grabbed a pillow and set down a few towels, covered up with some other towels, and used Vivian's blanket for my upper torso! I actually slept really well! Until 2:30 a.m.!

I woke up then and couldn't go back to sleep. I could not settle my nerves! I said a few prayers, but nothing was really working. I decided to just lay on the floor to rest, but around 3:30, I couldn't do that anymore! I had to get up. I decided to go ahead and get ready. I had to be up by 4:30 to get ready, so I figured that the extra hour would do me some good!

I got dressed, wrote Charles a letter, and read my scriptures. I still had some time to burn, so I took a few photos of myself! No marathon is perfect without some hotel-bathroom mirror-selfies!

I look SO tired!

After that, it was time to go! I realized then that I hadn't packed any clothes to keep me warm! DUH! No jackets, no long sleeved anything... I panicked for a second before I remembered that the shirt that I got the day before in my race packet was HUGE on me. I ordered a medium sized shirt. I had no idea that it was a men's medium! (The race people should say that on their registration form next year!) It was just long enough to protect my arms and torso! I got my bag ready and stepped out the door. I went over my mental list of things that I needed, then shut the door and started walking.

I had to walk half a mile to the depot to get on the bus. It was the perfect distance to warm me up! The sky was clear and I could see all the stars! It was a cool, crisp morning! 57 degrees! Once I got to the depot, I stood behind the building to block the wind. I met some runners, but there weren't very many people there yet.

Once on the bus, everyone showed up! I got a seat close to the front. My nerves were starting to calm down. I introduced myself to the lady that was sitting to my left, Jenny! It was her first marathon, too! She came with her friend, Jennifer! Two Jenny's! That was easy to remember! It was Jennifer's second marathon. We were all very nervous! We talked the entire ride there, and stuck together once inside the school near the starting point.

I went to the bathroom a few times and put on my body glide. I walked around outside to warm up before the start. There were a lot of runners. A lot of first time marathoners, too! I didn't feel so alone! I met another runner that use to work at the high school I went to! It was cool to have someone I could talk to before the start gun went off.

I said one final prayer before the start, then it was go time!

Mile 1 - 9:57 I had to tell myself to stay at a pace that I knew I could keep up for a while. I decided to try for 10:00 minute miles. But I also told myself that no matter what, even if I had a mile go over that time, I wouldn't get mad! I knew I was going to get fatigued during the run. But I kept an open mind! The sun wasn't quite up yet as we ran through the town on Malvern. There were a few people out waving us on with signs! It was nice to see! There were a few hills, but my legs were itching to run after my taper and rest week! I talked to my friend from my home town for a few minutes during this mile!

Mile 2 - 10:10 We finished up running through Malvern and got onto the trial just before the two mile mark! The first part of the trail was paved, but then it went to an actual trail! I knew it was a trail run, but for some reason, it really didn't occur to me that I'd be running on dirt and rocks! But it was very nicely flat and pleasant to run on! I met up with a 19 year old girl who was running her first marathon! We talked for a bit, but then she dropped back and I was on my own.

Mile 3 - 9:48
Mile 4 - 9:58
Mile 5 - 9:57 I spent these few miles alone. I really took some time to enjoy my surroundings! The trail is just beautiful! It is, literally, through the trees! It's like the trees were making a tunnel for me to run through! The sun was coming up at this point and shining through the leaves! It was gorgeous! I was humbled by God's beauty in nature! I said a prayer in gratitude! I wasn't passed by any runners. Everyone around me was keeping a consistent pace. They were talking to each other, but no one talked directly to me. I wanted to chime in a few times, but it was a little awkward since I didn't know them! I do regret that, but it's all good! It was nice to hear about other people's first marathons!

Mile 6 - 10:10 Peppermint GU
Mile 7 - 10:11
Mile 8 - 10:10 I ate my first GU right at mile six. There was no aid station, so I tucked my wrapper into my watch. It was handy that way because every time my arm swung up, I got to smell the residual peppermint in the wrapper! Played cat-and-mouse with a group from Omaha during these three miles! They were quite hilarious! I talked to the guy in the group for a bit. This marathon was his fourth marathon. He seemed pretty pumped up! He even commented on my running skirt! It was a little creepy... but I think it was all in good fun! The women he was running with told me not to mind him! We all got a good laugh out of it! We also realized that our watches were all reading our paces and distances differently. I just went with what my watch said! Only one other person in the group had the same data as me! So I went with it!

Mile 9 - 9:47
Mile 10 - 9:50 Once I hit the 10 mile mark, I realized how tight my arms were! I was so tense and nervous that my arms weren't moving like they should. I decided to relax one arm at a time. It really hurt, but it helped! I told myself to take it easy and relax. But it was easier said than done! By this point in the race, there was a huge cloud that was hiding the sun. It kept the temperature in the low 60's! It. Was. Wonderful! The water/aid stations were awesome! I ran through them and grabbed water as I went. I thought I needed to go pee, but I decided to not stop. I felt that if I were to have stopped, I would have a hard time getting going again! I lost the group from before because of the aid station. There was a man with a cowbell! I shouted, "MORE COWBELL!"

Mile 11 - 10:08 
Mile 12 - 10:15 Strawberry Banana GU
Mile 13 - 10:02 I played cat-and-mouse with these two ladies for the entire race. (Let's call them Blue and Orange!) We finally evened out our pace and talked for a few miles! They are training to run a 50K! I told them that this was my first marathon! They both said that they were jealous because the weather was SOOOOO perfect! They also told me that I was doing really well for my first marathon! It made me feel really good! I really needed the boost! I was getting tired by the time we hit the half-way point. But I could feel that I still had plenty left to finish the run with!

Mile 14 - 9:49 I fell behind Blue and Orange, but soon met another lady who was an Iowa Hawkeye fan! She had on some awesome Hawkeye shorts! We complimented each other and got talking! It was her first marathon! She said that she and her brother started running together, but she lost him a few miles back. So it was nice to have someone to talk to! She was hoping to get done in time to watch the game when she got home! We didn't talk too much because it was getting harder to keep our pace AND talk.

Mile 15 - 10:09 We passed through the town of Imogene at the 15 mile mark. They had an aid station. I seriously considered stopping to go pee, but I kept moving. Drank my water while running and remaining positive that I had less than a half-marathon left! I was alone for the rest of this mile.

Mile 16 - 10:27 walk When I came up on the aid station at mile 16, I decided to walk through it. I got some Gatorade for the first time. It was the greatest feeling in the world! I cannot describe just how good that Gatorade was! Seriously! I drank a quick cup of water after to get the slimy feeling out of my mouth. Then I started running again. It only took about 10 seconds to drink and walk.

Mile 17 - 9:53 I felt a burst of energy here! I know it was from walking at the aid station. It gave my body a second to take a breather! I felt good! I caught up to Blue and Orange! I tried my best to keep pace with them, but I was really feeling tired at this point! I do really well with pacing, but I could tell that I was starting to struggle! My legs were becoming tight and my arms were still stiff. Orange made a comment about stretching my arms while running and showed me a few ways to do so! It was handy info! I felt so much better!

Mile 18 - 10:31 walk, Peppermint GU I was with Blue and Orange until we hit the aid station. I walked through it and got a cup of Gatorade and water again. I walked for about 15 seconds this time. Blue and Orange took off before I got started again and I just couldn't catch them! I tried! But I was really feeling tired at this point. I took my third GU, which was another peppermint one. It was nice because my stomach was getting a little upset by this point. The peppermint was gentle on my tummy! I ran alone for the rest of the race.

Mile 19 - 11:08
Mile 20 - 11:39 walk I struggled with feeling especially fatigued here. The walk breaks during the aid stations helped, but my body was really feeling sluggish. I kept feeling the need to pee, but I kept on pressing forward. I saw Jennifer from the bus walking at this point. As I passed her, I asked her if she was alright. She said her hip and leg were hurting, but that she was okay. I wished her luck. I was really alone after that. I made it to the aid station, got Gatorade and water, and walked for about 20 seconds. I realized that I only had about an hour left to run! It was a welcome thought!

Mile 21 - 10:25 The sun decided to come out! It was still nice and cool, though! Although I was alone, I kept thinking, "I'm almost done! I'm almost to my family! Just a little bit longer!" Every mile after the 20 mile mark was a new distance PR for me! It was exciting to me! I could really feel my body tightening up, but I stretched my arms and tried to stay loose.

Mile 22 - 10:27 I kept looking behind me to see if anyone was coming during this mile. I could see no one ahead of me and no one behind me. It was kinda scary. I really, really wanted someone to run with. I saw some people in the race who had friends on bikes with them. I would've given anything to have a friend running or biking next to me! I crossed the highway right before the aid station and realized just how close I was to the finish! I could see town!

Mile 23 - 10:40 walk The aid station was literally at the start of this mile! I walked through the aid station for about 20 seconds, got Gatorade and water, and then started running again. I felt really good! I was becoming more positive as the trail became paved again! I knew I was coming in on town! I saw the big "WELCOME" sign and started saying, "I'm running to you, baby!", talking to my husband in my head!

Mile 24 - 10:50 walk, Chocolate Raspberry GU I was so relieved to be so close to the finish! I knew that I still had to go through town, but being around people was a nice thing! There were people on the sides of the trail cheering the runners on! I passed a marathon-relay person right before the aid-station. I debated walking through it, but at the last moment, I decided to! And I'm glad that I did! I ate my GU, drank a Gatorade, and chased it all with some water. Then I got off of the trail and started running on the town's streets!

Mile 25 - 11:40 Whoever it was that planned the course and had us run this mile with a HUGE HILL was my worst enemy. I seriously felt SOOOOOO SLOOOOWWWW. I felt like my feet were actually going backwards! I passed another marathon-relay runner and had a man on a bicycle pace with me. He was very nice! We talked a little bit, but I felt like I had nothing left in my body to use. I felt so tired and slow. He made a comment about how light my feet sounded! Which was surprising because they felt so heavy to me! With a mile and a half to go, he handed me off to a different cyclist and wished me good luck. I'm not sure of her name, but she was wonderful! She asked me if it would be okay to talk and I basically shouted, "Are you kidding me?! I'd LOVE someone to talk to! I've been alone for the past 8 miles or so!" We talked about my weight loss and decision to run a marathon. She said that it was inspiring and that she just might run this event next year! I told her to do it!

Mile 26 - 9:27 Once I realized that I had only one mile left, something within me changed. I felt stronger and started running faster. I felt kind of dizzy and extremely giggly. I'm sure it was the caffeine from my GU and my body running on fumes! I waved at each person along the last mile! All the supporters and people cheering! I kept shouting, "I'M ALMOST DONE! WOO HOO!" As I came down the final stretch, my name was announced and I knew that when I turned the corner just ahead of me, I would run the final 0.2 of my race and get to see my babies!

The last .2 - Not sure because I forgot to stop my Garmin! :) But I know it was fast! As I turned the corner, I saw the huge FINISH sign! I started sprinting and searching the side lines for my family. As soon as I saw them, I shouted for joy and almost peed my pants! It was also then that I realized that my friends Mike and Karmen came to watch me finish! I shouted again and started waving my arms in the air like a crazy person! I gave it my all and ran through the finish line!

Full Marathon #1
Official Time 4:27:59
average pace 10:13
Overall #38 of 66
Females #14 of 28
First in Age Group 25-29

The first thing I shouted was, "OH THANK GOD! IT'S OVER!" As soon as I was handed my medal, I was told to turn around! As soon as I did, I realized that Caitlin was running towards me! I caught her and gave her a huge hug! (Copyrighted photo of my hugging her here!) I realized that she chased me for the last little bit! She said to me, "I finished the race with you, Mommy!" If I would've known, I would've held her hand! Charles managed to get a photo of it, he was running with the camera, so it didn't turn out perfect, but I love this photo SO much!

Caitlin, on the left in the purple jacket, running after me crossing the finish line!
I was quickly joined by the rest of my family, Mike, and Karmen! Many sweaty hugs were given! I kept apologizing for my smell! I realized during the last mile just how bad I smelled! But no one seemed to care! Everyone was overjoyed and I was SO excited to be with my family!

But I needed to keep moving. I could feel my body getting stiff already. I walked over to the food area and got a chocolate milk, yogurt, a few bananas, a granola bar, and a Gatorade. I walked over to the tent where the results were about to be announced. My family sat down and I gave the girls my yogurt and granola bar. I walked back over and got some more. It felt good to walk, but I really wanted to sit. After about 10 minutes of walking, I finally sat down and put my feet up. After a few minutes, I decided to go get my gear bag because I had my post-race fuel in it. I really wanted my Snickers marathon bar! When I came back, my girls knew that I had some Swedish Fish in my bag, so of course, I shared! The overall winners were announced and a TON of prizes were being handed out to all the runners who stuck around! I kept hoping my name would be called!

I LOVE my medal! My favorite color!
To keep the girls entertained, Mike and Karmen let the girls wear their motorcycle helmets! It was so funny to watch my girls walk around with them on!

Caitlin and Vivian (eating my Swedish Fish!)
I decided to take off my shoes because I could feel some blisters coming up. I wore socks that were suppose to prevent that from happening, but it happened anyway. I had five blisters! It wasn't too painful yet, but I could tell that I needed some Ibuprofen to help keep it that way until I got home and took care of my toes. And for the first time, ever, I got a blister along the bottom of my foot! I had some rocks in my shoes from running on the trail and a very small one nestled along the bottom of my foot. I got a blister as a result!

My poor toes and feet...
I could feel that my two big toes had blisters under the nails. I was terribly sad about that. (But since the marathon, the only nail to fall off was the big toenail on my left foot. It was horribly painful when it fell off. I could put no pressure on it. None. I slept with that foot out of the covers. Socks were too much. Shoes were too much. It sucked. My other big toenail had a blister, too. I popped it, but the nail is still attached. Thank goodness! It is SO much better with the nail still on.)

The girls keeping themselves entertained with my medal and the ropes on the tent!
Charles and I waited around for about an hour before we decided it would be best to head home. I told him that I wanted to stay until they announced the age division winners for my age group. He said that they posted the results on the other side of the food table. I wobbled over to it right when I heard my name announced. I honestly thought I won a prize!

Nope! I placed first in my age division! I was seriously dumbfounded! I was honestly shocked! I said, "This has to be a mistake!" Nope! (A copyrighted photo of my reaction here!) I looked at Charles in shock! He looked SO proud! I was overwhelmed! The man who handed me my $25 gift certificate asked me to say a little about myself and what I thought of the trail! What I said went something along these lines:

"My name is Carie and I'm from Iowa! I've been training for 27 weeks and I've lost 71 pounds! I've always dreamed of running a marathon and when I found this one, I knew it'd be perfect! The trail was just beautiful and I'm excited to come back next year and run it again! I'm here with my family! My husband and our three daughters! I want to give a quick shout-out to my wonderful husband who put up with my training and traveling! I love you baby! Thank you!"

As I was leaving the stage, all three girls ran up on stage and started waving to the crowd! It was SO funny! I walked over to Charles and he gave me a huge hug! The woman who won the marathon came and talked to me a little bit! It was nice to have met her! She did a great job! We are in the same age division, too! I was confused by that, but since she placed overall, I got the title of winner for our age division. I think that was awesome of the race officials for doing that! That way more people get prizes! Of the three overall winners for the female marathon, two of them were in my age division. So technically, I placed third in my age division. But either way, I was SOOO happy!

Since the gift certificate was chamber bucks, I had to use it while I was in town! We walked to our car and loaded up. I asked Charles to get a quick photo of the gift certificate since I'd be spending it. It was so bright in the parking lot. He snapped two photos, but they were SO dark. Of the two he took, the first one turned out the best. And the funny thing about it was, I was asking him if the certificate was upside-down. It was!

I enhanced the photo to the best of my abilities!
We headed over to an athletic apparel store and I found a nice, long-sleeved running shirt! Then we headed home! I kept my feet up on the dash the entire time. Probably illegal, but it helped the soreness!

When we got home, I had Charles take one more photo of me with my prizes! I was beyond ready for my shower!


As soon as I got inside, I showered, updated my Facebook, then took a long nap! I think it was well deserved! When I woke up, I ate a HUGE dinner and went straight back to sleep!

When I think about my accomplishment in running a marathon, I get overwhelmed. I didn't even cry about having finished the marathon until I sat down to type this blog post about it! All of the emotions that I had while running and after I finished, came to the surface. Which is why it's taken me so long to post this! That, and the week after my marathon, I was like a walking zombie! I was so sore and tired for the first three days! Then I felt back to normal! All the memories and thought I have from my first marathon are good thoughts! I had SUCH a good time! I felt strong and trusted my training! I still can't believe I actually finished a marathon... but I did!

I am a marathoner!

I will be running another marathon this coming spring! Details to come soon!

I want to thank all of the people who supported me, cheered for me, believed in me, and loved me during my journey to this point! And all of my life! I would not have gotten this far without you all! I am so thankful for all of my running partners, workout friends, and blogging buddies! It is so wonderful to have so many people supporting me! I am blessed! (I would take time to name you all, but I'm afraid I'm leave someone out!)


I added my new car magnet! I'm not ashamed to brag a little!

And the only thing that would've made this race better would've been...

MORE COWBELL!

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

First Day of Preschool

We've been spending the last month getting Caitlin and Rosalie ready for preschool! This year is the first year that our girls will be in school! We decided to keep Caitlin home last year for the 3-year-old year, but decided later that it probably would've been good for her to have gone. So when preschool sign up came this year, we decided to put Caitlin into the 4-year-old class and Rosalie into the 3-year-old class!

After all of the paperwork, orientations, doctor appointments, dentist visits, and more, we took the girls to the Open House so that they could see their class rooms and find their seats and cubby holes!

Caity found her seat!
Rosalie found her cubby!
The girls felt more comfortable knowing where their seats and cubbys were! They didn't want to leave that night, but we told them they had less than a week before school started!

I had purchased the girls' backpacks when Walmart first put them out because I wanted to get the good ones before they were gone. The Walmart here sells out of stuff within days, so as soon as I saw the Disney backpacks, I purchased them immediately! I kept them in my bedroom because we wanted to surprise the girls with them! It was hard to wait so long, but it was worth it when we saw their faces! Charles brought them outside yesterday morning while the girls were on the porch playing! We got Caity a Tinkerbell backpack and Rosie got a Disney Princess backpack!
Looks of joy and happiness!
They spent the entire day putting things into their backpacks, taking those things out, wearing them all over the place, and more! They were SO happy! We gave each girl three pencils and a Disney Fairies notebook.

When it became time to take a bath and get ready for bed, I pulled out the note that Caity's teachers gave to her the night of the open house. It said, "DO NOT OPEN UNTIL MONDAY NIGHT!" It was hard not to open it, but I resisted! It was worth it, too! I gathered the girls around the table and opened the letter. Confetti fell all over the place! There was a poem inside the card that wished the girls sweet dreams! The confetti was to help them sleep better and have sweet dreams. It told them to sprinkle some under their pillows. I put it inside of some plastic baggies and let the girls put the baggies under their pillows! Then we set out the girls' clothes, shoes, and backpacks for the next morning!


This morning, the girls woke up without any problems! They got their clothes and shoes on immediately and let me do their hair without too much fussing! We went outside, I snapped some photos!


Afterwards, we loaded up the car and headed to school! Once at school, I got one more photo of the girls before we went inside! Charles wanted to take the girls into the school since his work starts at the same time school starts. So it was nice to have him there to help me corral the girls inside!


I dropped Caity off first! Her classroom is the closest to the doors we come in. She did very well with hanging her backpack and jacket up and going through the morning routine! She found her name tag, washed her hands, and then found her name on the floor by the big carpet!


Rosalie started getting fussy because she wanted to go to her class! So she cried a little, but once we got inside her class, she was fine! She hung her backpack and jacket up, put on her nametag, washed her hands, answered the question of the day, then sat in the morning circle! When I went to leave, she gave me a hug and never looked back!

I stopped back in Caity's room to tell her goodbye, she hugged me, then never looked back! Vivian and I left the school alone! It was weird only loading up one kid in the car! Vivian and I have spent the morning eating breakfast, playing, and running around the yard! I am very excited to spend some one-on-one time with her! Oh, and here's a picture of her this morning at the school!


I am excited to pick the girls up and hear about their day!