How far along: 12 WEEKS!!!!
Baby is the size of: a lime
Gender Prediction: Boy!
Weight gain: 7 pounds total, I can tell/feel it
Starting to show yet?: I do believe so! (Finally!)
Maternity clothes: Not yet!
Stretch marks: Just a lot of old ones!
Belly button in or out: In
Sleep: I have been going through a comfortable phase in my bed! I am LOVING it! And I have found that I can only sleep in one position: laying on my left side.
Movement: Not yet, but I know that he/she is moving around!
Best moment this week: Hearing baby's heartbeat at my 12 week appointment today! 150 bpm!
Worst moment this week: The anxiety leading up to my appointment.
Miss anything: Working out! I have been SO busy this week with helping the girls' school, shopping, cleaning, and more. 'Tis the season!
Wedding rings on or off?: On
Cravings: Pancakes with strawberry-rhubarb jelly, Fried Eggs, Apples, Yogurt, PASTA!
Aversions: Chocolate, Peanut Butter (totally strange to me since I LOVE both of those things!)
Appetite: Normal!
Aversions: Chocolate, Peanut Butter (totally strange to me since I LOVE both of those things!)
Appetite: Normal!
Queasy or sick: It depends on the day! If I don't get a large breakfast, I feel queasy by lunch.
Emotionally: I'm finding it hard to control my emotions at times. And I feel like I'm going to have an anxiety attack at least twice a day. I feel so overwhelmed all the time. Most days, all I want to do is sit on the couch, veg, and watch Neflix. But at the same time, I am so overwhelmed with the generosity of others during this time of year. My family has been blessed in SO many ways and my girls will have Christmas presents to open Christmas morning. There are a lot of things that have been going on/have happened in the past few weeks that I haven't been broadcasting on my Facebook. Those things took our complete Christmas budget. It was hard for Charles and I. We. Cried. A. Lot. But now our tears of sadness have changed into tears of joy. We are grateful. We are/have been blessed.
Physically: I feel like I finally look pregnant! I think this week my body changed a bit in the way I'm carrying the baby. Not sure why, but feel like I've "popped" more. Perhaps because this is my fourth child? I can finally feel my energy coming back! I am still exhausted most days, but I get a burst of energy at random times during the day! I make the most of them and clean! Or have dance parties with my girls! Or even alone! But afterwards, all I want to do is nap! Haha! I still have pimples on my face that are driving me insane. They just don't go away. BLAH! And they are always SUPER noticeable. I hate feeling like I'm going through puberty all over again!
Physically: I feel like I finally look pregnant! I think this week my body changed a bit in the way I'm carrying the baby. Not sure why, but feel like I've "popped" more. Perhaps because this is my fourth child? I can finally feel my energy coming back! I am still exhausted most days, but I get a burst of energy at random times during the day! I make the most of them and clean! Or have dance parties with my girls! Or even alone! But afterwards, all I want to do is nap! Haha! I still have pimples on my face that are driving me insane. They just don't go away. BLAH! And they are always SUPER noticeable. I hate feeling like I'm going through puberty all over again!
Looking forward to: The 20 week mark! Finding out what Baby Austin is! (Though I'm not sure when that ultrasound will be just yet!) Seems like everyone is voting for a little boy! I keep dreaming that it's a boy! I'm also looking forward to the gender-reveal party for my family!
Side note!
I talked to my doctor today about my stress/anxiety about this baby. And, as it turns out, given my history, everything that I am feeling is completely normal. I keep waiting for the floor to fall out from under me. I feel like if I accept this pregnancy, it will go away. If I finally wear maternity clothes, I will lose the baby. I felt like these were irrational fears. But talking to my doctor today put me at ease! These are totally normal things to feel! Sure, I have history with depression and pregnancy loss, and at times, it's hard to tell if I'm feeling depressed or if it's just normal human emotions. I haven't really celebrated this baby yet.
I have been too afraid to. I felt like if I were to celebrate him/her, he/she would go away... So after talking to my doctor and Charles, and a lot of prayer, I've decided to let my emotions go and CELEBRATE this little life growing inside of me! I already feel liberated and it's only been a few hours since my appointment!
I am so excited for this baby! I pray that God will continue to bless my body to be strong enough to carry this baby full term and deliver him/her safely! That this baby will be healthy and strong. Every single moment of this pregnancy will be celebrated! Yes, I will probably still complain every now and then... but that won't take away from the fact that I am a sacred vessel for a precious new life!
I am owning it. I am owning my pregnancy and rejoicing in it! I am happy! I am pregnant!
Merry Christmas!
Side note!
I talked to my doctor today about my stress/anxiety about this baby. And, as it turns out, given my history, everything that I am feeling is completely normal. I keep waiting for the floor to fall out from under me. I feel like if I accept this pregnancy, it will go away. If I finally wear maternity clothes, I will lose the baby. I felt like these were irrational fears. But talking to my doctor today put me at ease! These are totally normal things to feel! Sure, I have history with depression and pregnancy loss, and at times, it's hard to tell if I'm feeling depressed or if it's just normal human emotions. I haven't really celebrated this baby yet.
I have been too afraid to. I felt like if I were to celebrate him/her, he/she would go away... So after talking to my doctor and Charles, and a lot of prayer, I've decided to let my emotions go and CELEBRATE this little life growing inside of me! I already feel liberated and it's only been a few hours since my appointment!
I am so excited for this baby! I pray that God will continue to bless my body to be strong enough to carry this baby full term and deliver him/her safely! That this baby will be healthy and strong. Every single moment of this pregnancy will be celebrated! Yes, I will probably still complain every now and then... but that won't take away from the fact that I am a sacred vessel for a precious new life!
I am owning it. I am owning my pregnancy and rejoicing in it! I am happy! I am pregnant!
Merry Christmas!
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