Carie's Weight Loss Journey Week 38

I started this month off strong with two healthy living challenges! One personal challenge via The Biggest Loser's website, and one with friends for the Live Healthy Iowa challenge. I decided to post a photo of the scale each Monday morning to remain accountable to the other people in the group as well as myself. The photos so far have been these:

1/28/13 - 151.8 pounds

2/4/13 - 148.2 pounds

2/11/11 - 153 pounds

2/18/11 - 150 pounds

That gain SUCKED. I had such a hard time posting that photo. I even thought about putting the scale on an uneven floor or something to get the weight to show lower, but in the end, I couldn't do it. I had to be honest. Because in life, you're going to have your gain weeks and your loss weeks. I think what was so frustrating was that I had done everything right with my food and water, yet there was still a five pound gain. I'm positive it had to do with my time of the month. (Sorry fellas for the TMI!) Not to mention the fact that I was late on my period and stressing out. Not because another baby wouldn't be welcomed, but because I hate NOT knowing. I didn't want to buy a pregnancy test just so that it can tell me that I'm not pregnant. I know that that is what they are for, but we're tight on money, so I decided to wait it out. I started on Valentine's Day. Hubby wasn't too happy about that!

But all in all, I am proud of my gains and losses. It shows me how my body reacts to different things. The morning I had the 5 pound gain I decided to change up my calories each day to give my body something different each day. I lost 3 pounds by the next Monday! So for now, that is my plan! Changing up my calories each day and sticking to my normal workout routines.

I know that Lent is going on and I'm not Catholic. I debated back and forth about if I wanted to give something up for Lent as a way to help me break my addiction to sweets. I had a week or so to decide, but in the end, I decided to do it. What did I give up? I had to think about it! I have been ice-cream free and binge free for FOUR weeks. Which is HUGE for me! I have had to pass up ice-cream on more than one occasion! And it was HARD! And by changing up my calories each day, my urge to binge is gone. So I had to focus on the trigger foods in my cabinets and what I wanted to stay away from. I finally decided on these:

They are anywhere from 80 calories to 100 calories per pack, depending on how many smiles are in the package. We usually buy the huge box because our girls go through them so fast. But since we've decided to cut back on as much high fructose corn syrup as possible, these delicious, sugary treats were first on the chopping block! We still have some left from the last box we bought, and every time I go to the cabinet, I have to fight myself to leave them alone. I can easily eat 2 to 8 of those little pouches. Which is anywhere from 180 to 800 extra calories per day. And I need my calories to count! I am addicted to these fruit snacks. I was introduced to these in college and have loved them since. I am giving these up for Lent, and hopefully, for good.

I am 16 days away from starting my half-marathon training! Technically I'm training for the DAM to DAM and it's a 20K! I am going to be following Hal Higdon's Novice 2 Half Marathon Training plan. I am going to be running it with two friends, one who lives in the same town as me and one who lives in another town. I'm not sure exactly how our schedules line up, but hopefully we can all run a long run or two together! As soon as the DAM to DAM is over, the Monday afterwards I start marathon training! I will be following Hal Higdon's Novice 1 Marathon Training plan. This will be for my very first Marathon in September! That gives me 6 months of training before my first marathon! I am excited! I also want someone to buy me this shirt so that I can wear it while I train:

Available here!

I noticed a week or so ago that I had developed "runner's toe"! It's a bruise underneath a toenail. It can come from running too many hills, breaking in new shoes, and/or not having enough toe room in your shoes. I am positive mine came from breaking in my new running shoes while doing an inclined treadmill workout. My toe hurt the night after my workout, but I didn't think much on it! I was removing some old nail polish and couldn't get the color to come off of one of my toes. That's when I realized that I had runner's toe! I was so proud! I haven't had runner's toe since high school! The town I lived in had hills EVERYWHERE, so I constantly had runner's toe!

Pardon my ugly toes! 

Starting this coming Monday, I am going to be starting Jillian Michaels: Ripped in 30. I want to start toning my body all over, not necessarily be "ripped", but tighter! I still have my "problem areas" that my clothes cover, but one of my newer problem areas since having kids is my lower stomach/abs. I realize that I will probably never have abs... I'm not even sure I want them... but my posture is terrible and it makes me look "skinny fat". Which is frustrating. I find cute clothes that I can now fit in, but my leftover baby pooch makes me look like I'm newly expecting. Someone even thought I was pregnant a while back... But no. It's just my un-toned baby pooch. But I also want to do the Ripped in 30 to help my core strength before I start training!

I just want to say, though, that I am very proud of my body. I have lost my weight slowly. My body has had plenty of time to "bounce back" with me. This is the way I wanted to lose weight to begin with. Slowly. I am very happy with how I look, but sometimes, I am still overly critical. I am working on it. I am trying to love myself again. And I do love myself! But I still have my days and weeks where all I do is trash talk my body and self-sabotage. I am working on it. I am not just a number on the scale. I am worth it. I am enough.

I have been doing much of the same workouts that I have been doing. Zumba, Power Hour, Wave Power (water aerobics class), swimming, running, and Jillian's 30 Day Shred. I very much enjoy my workout schedule. I have been getting up early in the mornings to get in 20 to 30 minutes of cardio in each morning. It helps me to wake up and start my day off right. I am doing this so that I can start waking up early to run in the Spring!

Start to Week 1, Week 2, Week 4, Week 7, Week 13, Week 26, and Week 38 progression photo:

Start to Week 38:

Starting Weight: 202 lbs

Week 1 Weight: 193 lbs

Week 2 Weight: 190 lbs

Week 3 Weight: 190 lbs

Week 4 Weight: 189 lbs

Week 5 Weight: 188 lbs

Week 6 Weight: 184 lbs

Week 7 Weight: 182 lbs

Week 8 Weight: 179 lbs

Week 9 Weight: 177 lbs

Week 10 Weight: 175 lbs

Week 11 Weight: 174 lbs

Week 12 Weight: 173 lbs

Week 13 Weight: 171 lbs

Week 14 Weight: 172 lbs

Week 15 Weight: 173 lbs

Week 16 Weight: 169 lbs

Week 17 Weight: 168 lbs

Week 18 Weight: 167 lbs

Week 19 Weight: 166 lbs

Week 20 Weight: 164 lbs

Week 21 Weight: 162 lbs

Week 22 Weight: 161 lbs

Week 23 Weight: 160 lbs

Week 24 Weight: 157 lbs

Week 25 Weight: 159 lbs

Week 26 Weight: 155 lbs
Week 27 Weight: 151 lbs
Week 28 Weight: 156 lbs
Week 29 Weight: 155 lbs
Week 30 Weight: 154 lbs
Week 31 Weight: 154 lbs
Week 32 Weight: 153 lbs
Week 33 Weight: 152 lbs
Week 34 Weight: 151 lbs
Week 35 Weight: 148 lbs
Week 36 Weight: 153 lbs
Week 37 Weight: 150 lbs
Week 38 Weight: 146 lbs

Weight Lost Since Week 34: 5 lbs

Total Weight Lost: 56 lbs

Weight To Go: 11 lbs

Was anyone as tired of the 150's as me?! BLAH!! I cannot believe I have ELEVEN pounds until goal! I'm so, SO close! This week's weight loss came from either the stomach flu or from food poisoning. I'm not too sure since no one else in my house had any sort of sickness. I made sure to stay hydrated and eat all of my calories for each day. I know that the last few pounds are going to be hard to lose. I get asked, "Haven't you lost enough?" Maybe so! Maybe that's why my body was hanging out in the 150's for so long. But I want to make it to my goal weight. I know that I can. But I'm not going to kill or starve myself to get there! I know these things take time! And I am going to work as long as it takes!

I am proud of my progress. I am proud of my health.

I got a new Polar FT7 Sports Watch/Heart Rate Monitor and a Garmin Forerunner 110 Sports Watch. (they were running a deal when I bought them. I spent MUCH less than Amazon is selling them for right now.) I got the Polar to help me keep track of the calories I burn during Zumba, Power Hour, and other fitness classes. I got the Garmin to help me keep track of my time, distance, pace, and calories burned while running when I start half marathon and marathon training. I haven't had the chance to try them out just yet, but I am very excited to use them! (Come on warmer weather and Spring!)

I also want to start doing more exercises with my own body's weight. Like standard push ups, sit ups, etc. They sound easy, but I can't do very many at all. There was a time I couldn't even do one... but now I'm up to about 5 normal push ups and 15 sit ups without stopping. Small progress, but I am proud of myself! I really do not like push ups. I can do a lot of the modified version of push ups, but when it comes to having my legs straight, I struggle! I don't have a set number in mind, I just want to be able to do more than 5 without feeling like I am going to die!

I want to start pushing myself to do more during my workouts. Mainly for Power Hour and Wave Power. I can do jumping lunges for the first 30 seconds of a one minute circuit, but I have difficulty going any longer without stopping. I want to push myself little by little to be able to do them for the whole minute. There are lots of exercises for both classes that I have trouble doing for longer than 30 seconds. I want to push myself to know that I can! I am going to have to be mentally prepared to push my limits when I run my marathon later this year, I want to start breaking down those walls and barriers in other aspects of my life as well! I want to feel myself get stronger.

I want to push my limits.

My motto right now:

Thanksgiving/Christmas Catch-Up

How is it possible that I just now realized that I haven't done a family update in a while?! Since Halloween... Sheesh... I'm on the ball! AND I haven't posted about Thanksgiving OR Christmas yet! Yep! I'm a slacker! I've posted small updates, but nothing big. SOOOOOO, family update time!

We spent the first half of November soaking up what was left of the fall weather before it started getting colder. There were so many gorgeous days! The girls and I were invited to the park by their friend Claire. It was just warm enough for jackets for the older girls and a sleeper and hat for Vivian!

The same day, later on in the evening, Vivian started walking for the first time! We had been trying and trying to get her to walk on her own, but she just wouldn't budge! She'd push around toys and hold our hands, but she would never just do it. That day, she decided it was time! And the best part, Charles was home for it!

A few days later, after Vivian's weight was finally enough, she moved up from her backwards-facing car seat to a toddler seat! I don't know who was more excited about it! All three girls giggled like crazy when we were driving around!

This brings us into early December! The church hosted a Primary Activity and Caitlin was invited to attend! They had all the kids make a gingerbread man or woman ornament, sing Christmas carols, and then finished with a HUGE Gingerbread house kit! It was so hard for Caitlin to be patient enough for the frosting to set up, but she did so fantastic! She was super meticulous about the decorations! She pointed to where she wanted me to put the frosting, and she applied the candy! Caitlin got mad if I tried to help! When I brought the gingerbread house home, Charles asked me if she decorated it on her own because it looked like something that I would do! I took it as a compliment!

The cookies in the above photo are some of the cookies that the girls and I made during a snow day! Rosalie and Caitlin had SO much fun using the cookie cutters, watching me put them in the oven and taking them out, and then decorating them! It was a fun mess! And the girls got sprinkle happy!

For Christmas Eve, I wanted to start a tradition of watching Christmas movies and drinking hot chocolate with marshmallows, followed by opening one present early! Of all the movies we own, the girls decided on watching Mickey's Christmas! I prepared their hot warm chocolate with marshmallows, but gave Vivian a cup full of M&M's mixed with marshmallows!

Charles and I enjoyed our HUGE mugs of hot chocolate on the couch! Half-way through the movie, the girls came over and cuddled with us on the couch! All five of us were snuggled together in a Christmas-Eve cocoon! The girls opened one present afterwards, which was a baby doll for each girl! They took their babies to bed, and soon after, Santa set out all the presents and the girls' stockings!

Each girl technically didn't get a stocking, but I want to make them ones for next year! Santa decided to set out some goodies for the girls on the coffee table! Caitlin got a Barbie cup, a horse shirt, a Strawberry Shortcake figurine, a package of four Ring Pops, and a snowman baggie full of Hershey's kisses! Rosalie got a Cars cup, a striped dress, a My Little Pony figurine, a package of four Ring Pops, and a Santa bag full of Hershey's kisses! Vivian got a Beauty and the Beast cup, a flower shirt, a My Little Pony figurine, four dum-dum suckers, and a snowman baggie full of Hershey's kisses!

It was the first thing the girls noticed on Christmas morning!

Vivian was the last one to wake up, so as soon as she rummaged through her goodies, we sat the girls down to take a picture and let them rip into their presents!

It was hard to keep up with each girl opening presents! Caitlin and Rosalie went SO fast while Vivian took her time! There were squeals of excitement and shouts for joy as the girls opened their presents!

After all the craziness was over, we picked up all the wrapping paper and assembled the bigger toys! Then our house was silent for a few hours while the girls played with their new toys!

I want to take a moment to thank the generous family that adopted our family and gave our girls a Christmas this year! We were nominated and chosen. It was wonderful news for Charles and I. We don't like talking about our financial issues publicly, but there were some people who knew that our entire Christmas fund was spent fixing our family car after Thanksgiving. It had died on me twice while driving, and then stopped working all together. We spent every single penny of our Christmas fund and then some. It had both Charles and I in a non-Christmas mood. We had no idea what we were going to do... we know that Christmas isn't about the presents, but we didn't even have enough to buy the girls any presents. It was hard on us.

I ended up crying about it in Walmart. I sucked up my feelings and continued my grocery shopping when I ran into a friend while shopping. She asked me what was wrong, and I passed on telling her exactly what was up. But she knew I wasn't being 100% honest. I finally broke down to her... later that night, she surprised me with gifts for the girls. I was overwhelmed by her kindness!

And then when the gifts from the adopt a family were dropped off, it was unexpected and completely overwhelming, once again. Our prayers were answered! I cried a lot. And when I told Charles, he cried, too. It was a wonderful Christmas blessing. We will pay it forward one day to another family in need!

We went to Charles' parent's house Christmas afternoon to open more presents and eat Christmas lunch! I forgot my camera (Yep... I'm awesome!) so I don't have any photos of the girls opening those presents, but they got lots of new toys and clothes!

This brings us to New Year's! *Happy New Years!* We stayed home that night and invited a friend over to toast some sparkling grape juice to the new year! I ended up falling asleep a few different times before midnight, but Charles made sure to wake me up for my toast!

I took some photos of the girls to celebrate the New Year!

Charles turned 29 on the 8th! We had made a Darth Vader rice-krispie cake for the family birthday party, but on the day of his birthday, I had the girls help me make a cake for their Daddy! They did so good helping me mix everything together and then decorate the baked cake! They even did a fantastic job of devouring the cake!

The girls are now playing more together now that Vivian is a little older! This is a wonderful thing, until they all start crying and fighting! But for those moments when they all play together nicely, I am such a proud Mama! I always end up crying... in a good way!

We had a great visit from our new Parent Educator in January. I was hoping the girls would do well with the new woman. She brought A LOT of play food with a chef set and a shopping cart. She had the girls won over in a matter of seconds! The girls played for the entire hour and shared the chef's clothes!

One of the gifts that Charles got for Christmas from our friends Mike and Karmen is a Darth Vader throw blanket. I cannot even tell you how many blankets are in my house! But the one that the girls want to play with and cover up with, is the Darth Vader blanket! (Caitlin calls it the "Darth Mater" blanket! Love her!) I noticed that they started playing with it immediately, but I thought it would get old fast... I was wrong! They have used it as a magic carpet, a fort, a superhero cape, and more! I have had to wash it numerous times already because the girls spill their snacks and juice on it almost daily! They are their Father's daughters!

This brings us to Valentine's Day and now! The girls enjoyed their 14 days of healthy Valentines! Very much, even! They keep asking for the same snacks each day now! Which makes me SO happy!

The rest of this month is going to be spent planning Caitlin's fourth birthday party! She has decided on a Tinkerbell party! Or rather, a Disney Fairies party! It is her latest obsession! She's liked the movies for a while, but as of lately, I have to wash her Tinkerbell jammies daily so that she can wear them to bed each night! She cracks me up!

I love my life!

Happy Valentine's Day 2013

I woke up this morning at 6 with Miss Vivian, and was soon joined by both Miss Caitlin and Miss Rosalie! Not really how I wanted things to happen, but I went with it anyway!

I had originally planned to wake up early and make breakfast before anyone woke up! Obviously, that did not happen! So I started breakfast late, but Charles had time to eat before he woke up, thankfully!

I had to work on his Valentine this morning, which was hard to do with the girls wanting to cuddle/write on his card! But I finished it fast and placed it outside in the Jeep along with a big bag of Peanut M&M's!

I started the bacon hearts next! I will be using thicker bacon next time since most of the hearts didn't turn out very well. But I had four perfect hearts!

I fried up the rest of the bacon, made peppered country gravy, and pink heart-shaped pancakes. When you put them all together, it makes a wonderful breakfast! It's something my husband's family introduced me to our first year of marriage. It's a southern thing, but seriously, good stuff! Try it some time! This is what it looked like:

The photo doesn't do it justice...
I had to use my lame camera on my phone because I couldn't find my normal camera right away.
Oh well... it was delicious!

The girls ate two pancakes each with a banana! Hungry, hungry girls! Charles had three pancakes with the works! I had two small pancakes with the equivalent of two pieces of bacon and 1/4 cup of the gravy. (Hooray for counting calories!)

Charles then left for work. I ran over to the window to watch his reaction from the Valentine I left him in the jeep. As he was getting back out of the Jeep to come inside, I ran back into the kitchen and acted like I had been sitting there the whole time! Haha! He had tears in his eyes! (My Valentine was kinda mushy, but I do love that man like crazy!) We hugged and cried a bit, then he was off to work!

I got the girls ready for the day in their Valentine clothes and snapped some photos of them!

I hope you all have a wonderful Valentine's Day! I have some fun stuff planned for the girls, mostly craft stuff, we're having red beans and rice with andouille sausage for supper (another southern dish), and then I'm going to work out and attend an event for 1 Billion Rising!

My Second Virtal 5K - Tackle the Miles

I ran my second virtual 5K today! It was the first run in the 13 in 2013 Virtual Race Series. I was going to run it this morning, but after a late night with my teething baby, it wasn't an option. The only time I was able to complete it was right before Zumba. I had 30 minutes to complete it. I set the treadmill to a speed of 7.5 and stayed there for 1.5 miles, turned it down to 7.3 for a mile, then cranked it back to 7.5 to finish the 3.1 miles. 

My time was 25:06! 

My fastest time EVER! I went to take a picture of it with my phone as it died on me. I turned it back on, but by the time I was ready to take the photo, the treadmill had turned off. Lamesauce! I had to get going to Zumba. I was frustrated with not having a picture of my time, but SO happy at the same time that I had gotten a PR!

So a photo of me at home afterwards and a photo of my racing bib will have to suffice! I don't know if I will be able to keep that pace up for my next 5K, but I'm sure going to try! I want to run my next 5K on the pavement so that I know what my pace is without using a treadmill! I know it will be slower, but hey, I'm proud of my treadmill time!

I have completed two runs of my thirteen for the year! Things are looking good for me to be able to get all of my races this year! I am very excited! 

Carie's Weight Loss Journey Week 34

Has it really been 34 weeks? Sheesh! That's almost an entire pregnancy! Having been through three of them, I know what it's like to count down the weeks until you meet your new baby! Except this journey, I'm counting down the pounds until I reach my goal weight! And I am SO close! I will laugh if it takes me 40 weeks! That will be AWESOME! Almost as awesome as this shirt that someone needs to buy for me:

Found HERE

As the 2013 started, a lot of my friends and I made fitness resolutions and/or goals. A lot of those goals are the same, but when I tell people that I want to run a marathon, they look at me like I'm crazy! Maybe I am! But it has always been a dream of mine!

I remember the days I spent running track and cross country in high school. I remember being encouraged by my coaches to push a little harder and run a little faster. They told me that I could do anything I wanted to do, as long as I was willing to put forth the effort. If they gave the team a workout that required us to run to a certain point and then turn around, I would ALWAYS run to the exact spot I was told to turn around, and turn around. I NEVER turned around early. There were people on the team who did... and it would always make me SO angry. I would always finish the workouts last, or close to last. I would get so mad when I was ahead of people, I reached the turn around point, and as soon as I was coming up on those people, they would just turn around when I passed by them. Then they would pass me up near the end and finish before me. Even talking about it stirs up those old feelings I had about always finishing last.

I hated it. I felt like I ALWAYS put forth a huge effort. I did everything I was suppose to do. I did everything I was asked to do. And all the while, others were cheating and finishing before me. It killed me when the coaches wouldn't put me down for a race during track season... I remember passing around the event list and looking for my name, only to find that it wasn't on the sheet. I would try SO hard not to cry... but it never worked. There were only ever a few times in my entire high school running career that I wasn't scheduled to run, but those days were the hardest for me.

I would go over and over in my head, "What did I do wrong? Is coach mad at me? Am I being punished?" I would sit and stew in my mind and get very angry about not being able to run. I hated feeling inadequate and unworthy to even represent my team during a meet. There were plenty of events to go around... some people even ran 3 events in one night. And I got none. I still don't know exactly why. It was hard... But that's okay...

All of it made me a strong person. A strong runner. I may have not been the fastest, but I know I pushed hard each and every workout and race. It made me appreciate the events I got to participate in. It made me appreciate the fact that I could even run at all. There were times I hated running... but in the end, running was my own therapy. I had a hard childhood and a lot of negative thoughts in my head. At all times. Running helped me work out those feelings and leave them all on the road behind me. 

It was because of all that, I KNOW I can run a marathon. I remember setting the goal to run a marathon when I was younger. (I think the original goal was to run the Boston marathon... just to run it, not compete.) I knew it was something that I wanted to put my time, heart, and body into. I don't think I realized just how long a marathon is! But now that I know, the 26.2 miles don't scare me. My mind does.

That statement might sound silly... but it's true. 

That photo says it all. Exactly what I'm afraid of in a marathon is the voice inside my head telling me to quit... telling me that I'm hurting and that I should stop. But the truth is, my body is capable of AMAZING things. And my mind is going to be worn out LONG before my body is! And even if I'm the last person to cross the finish line, I will finish.

I have finally found the marathon that I will be training for and completing this year! I spent last Saturday planning out all of the 2013 races that I will be doing this year! My current list is:

January 25 - Virtual 5K via Runs For Cookies (Time PR 27:32)

May 11 - YMCA 5K
June 1 - DAM to DAM 20K

July 4 - Independence Day 5K

July 13 - The Color Run 5K (Still in the air, one of my best friends is getting married that day.)

Aug 24 - Restoration Run Half-Marathon (13.1 miles)

Sept 14 - Wabash Trail Marathon (26.2 miles)

Sept 21 - Balloon Chase 5K

Nov TBA - Fireman's 5K

I will also be doing more virtual running events as they are created! Basically what happens during a Virtual run is that you sign up to run a 5K, 10K, or whatever the distance is. You run that event on your own, where ever you are, on the day the event takes place. If you sign up for a 5K, you can either map out a 3.1 mile run around your town or run it on the treadmill. Whatever you're able to do! The best part is, they are FREE running events! This is always good for my family!

I ran my first Virtual 5K yesterday after Zumba. I told my friend, Erin, that I was going to be running a 5K afterwards and she decided to join me! I know my endorphins were high because I started out running at 6.3 mph. It felt too slow, and I thought, "What if I get tired really fast, I'll want to stay at this pace." But I decided to bump it up anyway! I increased my speed to 6.7 mph (or a 9 minute mile). I still felt slow, so I increased my speed again to 7 mph (or an 8:30 minute mile). I came up on having under a half of a mile left and decided to push myself even harder and set the speed to 7.5 mph (or an 8 minute mile). I had a rush of endorphins because I literally felt AMAZING. Runner's high! I was watching my time as the distance increased. When I finally hit the 3.1 mark, I stopped the treadmill and looked at my time of 27:32. I almost fell over with excitement. Seriously! I was dripping with sweat but I felt like I could have kept going. But once I stopped, my body caught up with me and I was exhausted! Erin finished her 5K and told me that she was only going to run 1 mile, but seeing me running pushed her to run a full 5K! I am proud of her! I took photos of my racing bib (my number is the birth months of my girls: March, May, and October), me running, my distance, and my time!

I am hoping that my 5K time on the pavement will be equally amazing as my time on a treadmill! Treadmills have inclines, but when you're running a 5K on roads and/or trails, there are hills and wind. I want to get a sub-30 5K on the pavement! Maybe I'll do Zumba beforehand so I can get my endorphins pumping!

My workouts are the same as always! Zumba, Power Hour, Running, and Swimming. But one thing that is new, I've been doing Jillian's 30 Day Shred this month! I have only missed ONE DAY! Aside from my rest days! The results are AMAZING! My jaw dropped when I looked at my before and after photo... and I'm only on day 25! (See my glorious stretch marks from my babies! Oh Lord...)

My pants go up farther now! Ha! My belly no longer rests on top of them! I just put my pants on this morning and didn't even realize it until I compared my photos. And then I cried... happy tears, of course! I am still very self conscious of my belly and stretch marks, but there they are. Raw. Fading. Boom baby. I am proud of my belly though. I've held three babies in that thing! (Well, technically my uterus has, but you know what I mean!) Getting a tattoo on my side was probably not the best idea in the world... my stretch marks have separated the colors and go through the design! Glorious youth! Oh how I've aged!

Start to Week 1, Week 2, Week 4, Week 7, Week 13, Week 26, and Week 34 progression photo:

Start to Week 34 Photos:

Starting Weight: 202 lbs

Week 1 Weight: 193 lbs

Week 2 Weight: 190 lbs

Week 3 Weight: 190 lbs

Week 4 Weight: 189 lbs

Week 5 Weight: 188 lbs

Week 6 Weight: 184 lbs

Week 7 Weight: 182 lbs

Week 8 Weight: 179 lbs

Week 9 Weight: 177 lbs

Week 10 Weight: 175 lbs

Week 11 Weight: 174 lbs

Week 12 Weight: 173 lbs

Week 13 Weight: 171 lbs

Week 14 Weight: 172 lbs

Week 15 Weight: 173 lbs

Week 16 Weight: 169 lbs

Week 17 Weight: 168 lbs

Week 18 Weight: 167 lbs

Week 19 Weight: 166 lbs

Week 20 Weight: 164 lbs

Week 21 Weight: 162 lbs

Week 22 Weight: 161 lbs

Week 23 Weight: 160 lbs

Week 24 Weight: 157 lbs

Week 25 Weight: 159 lbs

Week 26 Weight: 155 lbs
Week 27 Weight: 151 lbs
Week 28 Weight: 156 lbs
Week 29 Weight: 155 lbs
Week 30 Weight: 154 lbs
Week 31 Weight: 154 lbs
Week 32 Weight: 153 lbs
Week 33 Weight: 152 lbs
Week 34 Weight: 151 lbs

Weight Lost Since Week 30: 3 lbs

Total Weight Lost: 51 lbs

Weight To Go: 16 lbs

I have spent the past 10 weeks in the 150's! It has been very frustrating for me. It's hard when I work really hard during my workouts and stay within my calorie range for each day, and the scale doesn't move. I tend to binge when I stress. I have had a few binge nights lately. Not HUGE binges, but a binge is a binge. And they suck. I will even say to myself, "Do not self-sabotage yourself Carie! You don't even want what you're eating! You are just stressed!" And yet, I still eat... Then when I get on the scale the next morning, I beat myself up for the binge. Which stresses me out even more.

It is a vicious cycle.

I have decided to start seeing the positive about my body and my weight. I want to free myself from my emotional attachment to food and my food addictions. I have realized more and more as this journey goes on just how attached I am to food. I've said it before, but I seem to keep forgetting. I noticed myself putting a huge bag of Lay's potato chips in my shopping cart last week. I snapped out of it and put the chips back on the shelf. I kept asking myself why I had even grabbed the chips. I went home and cried about it. I sobbed. Over potato chips. I kept telling myself that it was ridiculous to cry over freaking potato chips. But there I was... sobbing over them.

I started my period the next morning. (Sorry fellas, TMI... but this has a point to it!) I realized right then and there that I ALWAYS buy a huge bag of potato chips the day before I start. I never realized it until that moment. I realized then that I wasn't being ridiculous, I was breaking a cycle. My body craves salty foods, which make me bloat like crazy. Downing an entire bag of salty potato chips was horrible for my body. So on top of my period bloating, my body was being loaded with salt, which makes your body retain water. I didn't cramp as bad. I didn't have crazy cravings. I felt clear.

I started talking to my family about this. About eating healthier. Not just being healthier, but eating healthier. My sister-in-law mentioned the movie Hungry For Change. (It is on Netflix and Hulu. Watch it.) We talked about how the companies making our food pump them full of crap that makes us addicted to it. High fructose corn syrup is in almost EVERYTHING on the shelves at the store. MSG is in a ton of stuff and it is hidden under different names. It is insane. I felt outraged when I watched the documentary. I was ON FIRE. I felt helpless. Until the point in the movie when Joe Cross showed up. I remembered him from the documentary Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead. (It is also on Netflix and Hulu. Watch it, too.) Then I remembered his stand on Juicing. We can juice fresh produce and have the micro and macro nutrients that are super healthy for our bodies absorbed within minutes of drinking them. There are so many health benefits of juicing. Charles and I are purchasing a juicer with our income tax money so that we can start juicing! You KNOW what you are putting into your body when you juice. When you buy bottled juice from the store, you are putting added chemicals and crap into your body. Which makes it harder for your system to digest and heal itself.

I think a huge part of breaking my food addictions is eating food that is as close to natural as possible. When we eat healthy food, our bodies will crave the healthy food. Sure, a food craving for ice cream or candy bars may arise, but it is SO much easier to fight them off when you think about what you would be putting into your body. Our bodies WANT to be healthy. I want to give my body the healthiest food that I possibly can. That includes the types of meat that I consume. I won't get too much into this, but I want meat from animals that aren't pumped full of hormones. Animals that are free range and grass fed. Reading labels and seeing what is in the food that I purchase and eat has helped me feel better about my health.

I also realized that part of my problem is that I still see the "old Carie" when I look into the mirror. And I am very hard on myself when it comes to my "problem areas" on my body. In the movie Hungry For Change, Dr. Christiane Northrup suggests a daily affirmation, “I accept myself unconditionally right now.” She writes it on a prescription card for her patients. You are suppose to tape it to a mirror and read it, out loud, to yourself for 30 days. It takes your brain that long to learn that simple truth. I am going to start doing this on Monday. I think that it will help me by leaps and bounds. I am learning how to love myself. I thought it would come easy with weight loss, but it is proving to be a struggle. Like most things in life! 

My plan for the next month is to keep up on clean eating and drinking LOTS of water. I am making small changes each day. I learned the hard way that it's not good to go cold turkey on sugar! So I am going to be weaning myself each day. I want to start a binge-free streak as well. And be honest about it. Today is day one. (I can do this!) I am also going to start lifting to build more muscle to burn the fat that is still on my body. I'm thinking of lifting twice a week for right now while I finish Jillian's 30DS. Afterwards, I think I'll go three or four times a week, depending on what's going on. (I'm still trying to wean my baby from breastfeeding.)

I am starting the Live Healthy Iowa 10 week challenge on Monday. I have also signed up on TheBiggestLoser.com for a 6 week challenge to reach my goal weight of 135 lbs in the next six weeks. That's roughly 2 pounds a week! I've gotta get moving! Talk about motivation!

My motto right now:

The "Green" Shirt

I remember the day I walked into Gordman's and purchased the green polka-dot shirt that was a size XL. I remember being in denial about purchasing an extra-large shirt. I didn't think I looked that bad. How was it possible that I had let myself go... But the truth was, the shirt was still too small for me.

I bought it before my husband and I went to Texas for a wedding in August of 2008. I was a few weeks pregnant with Caitlin, not enough to "show". But I used it as my excuse to be getting larger. I wore the shirt with a brown skirt (size XL) to our friend's rehearsal dinner. I tried to stay out of the way of the photographer, but he snapped some unexpected photos of me. I was horrified when I saw the outcome a few months later when the photos were posted to Facebook.

All that is in the past now! Now I can wear the shirt and not worry about being too big for it! It is too big for me! I have to use the tie that is around the middle to hold the extra fabric from the shirt!

I can honestly say that I NEVER thought I'd be wearing a size 12 jean with medium/large shirts! I thought my boobs would always be too big and hanging out the top of my shirts... but I guess when you lose 50 pounds, your boobs shrink! I am thankful for that! I makes working out, running, and getting dressed MUCH easier!

I am excited to see how the shirt fits me when I reach my goal weight!

My Sunbeam

Last Sunday, my sister-in-law told me that Caitlin would be in the Sunbeam class the next Sunday. I was taken by surprise... I thought, "She can't be that old yet!" But indeed, she is!

Today was Caitlin Nadine's first day of Primary!

I drew on the chalkboard and had her write her name underneath! She was so excited to write on the chalkboard, too! It was a proud moment for me to watch my baby write her own name.

Caitlin didn't do very well during the Sunbeam class. She was afraid of her new teacher, and even though Charles and I told her that she would be okay, she wouldn't calm down and stay. She didn't attend class. By sharing time, she was ready to participate and play with the older kids! She did very well and we heard awesome reports!

Caitlin is writing her own name and is in Primary... is this for real?! It makes me miss the first few weeks after she was born. In those weeks, I would just stare at her and think of all the things Caitlin would do in her life! My mind reached far and high with the endless possibilities she has ahead of her. A whole world of opportunities. But I think I forgot that she needed to take baby steps to get to those places. She still needed to learn how to write her name!

I taught her that. I spent countless hours singing the "ABC" song with her and countless hours side by side with her writing each letter of the alphabet over and over again. I took those moments for granted! I mean, I cherished the time we spent together, but I guess I forgot that she was going to be able to do things without my help someday. She wouldn't need me to spell out her name and show her how to write each letter...

She's growing too fast. It makes me sad.

But it has to happen this way. She's my oldest! She is my helper! I have grown to love Caitlin in ways that only a mother can. I see things in her that I wish I still had... an endless curiosity for everything around me, a constant desire to learn and grow... I think that I find myself caught up in the day-to-day hustle and I forget to stop and look around. Smell the roses. Watch my little girl grow up.

It is happening right before my eyes and I am powerless to slow it down.

I thank God each and every moment of each and every day for Caitlin! I love that girl SO much!

Righteous Resolutions for 2013

Happy New Year 2013!

We started off 2012 with our resolutions posted on this blog. I wanted to let you all know how we did on our resolutions and what our new ones are for 2013!

Our resolutions for 2012 were:

1. Read from the Book of Mormon every single day - We started off strong, slacked off, but then started up again and stuck it out for the rest of the year!
2. Read the entire Book of Mormon as a family - We got half-way through.
3. Have FHE each Monday, no excuses - We started off strong, but stopped in March for good reason. Makes us sad to think/talk about, but we did have FHE every Sunday with Charles' family.
4. Family prayer each morning and night, on our knees - We got a few months in, then only did the night time prayer each day. 
5. Be full tithe payers for the entire year - We were late twice.
6. Pay off some debt - We used some of our income tax and payed off our credit cards!
7. Go to the temple 4 times - We only made it once.
8. Spend time each night as a family for an hour or so - Completed in full!
9. Get healthy - We both started eating healthier in June!
10. Get fit - We both started working out in June! Charles lost 20 pounds, Carie lost 51 pounds!
11. Get the remodel done upstairs - This did not happen...
12. Plant our garden - We bought the seeds, but never planted them.
13. Start using more coupons - Started right away and still use them now!
14. Make the change to Cloth Diapers - We made a full transition and have saved so much money!

We had a good year sticking to most of our resolutions. Aside from the ones we didn't even do, we are very pleased with our efforts! We decided to make our new resolutions more practical. Not that some goals aren't worth setting a high bar for, we just hate being let down at the end of the year knowing that we shot too high. Most of our resolutions and goals are going to be repeated, because they are very important to us! So here are our new resolutions and goals:

Austin Family Goals 2013

1. Read from the Book of Mormon every single day
2. Read the entire Book of Mormon as a family
3. Have FHE each Monday, no excuses
4. Family prayer each morning and night, on our knees
5. Be full tithe payers for the entire year, 100%
6. Do our Home Teaching/Visiting Teaching, 100%
7. Go to the temple two times
8. Make a budget each month
9. Pay off debt
10. Save money for emergencies and Christmas
11. Build up our food storage
12. Continue eating healthy and working out
13. Finish the upstairs remodel, especially the girls' room
14. Keep up on housework, especially the kitchen
15. Go to bed early, early to rise
16. Put God first in all aspects of our life

We are very excited for 2013 and what the Lord has planned for our family. We spent the day today talking about our goals and refocusing on our spiritual needs. We realized that we've been pretty terrible about saying our individual prayers and getting into repetitive prayers for our family prayers. We want to focus on talking to our Heavenly Father, repenting for our sins and weaknesses, and expressing our gratitude for the many, many blessing that he has given us. We haven't been putting God first, so that, most of all, is our biggest goal for 2013.

We wish you all the very best 2013! 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Kid Interviews 2013

Our annual kid interviews!

Caitlin Nadine, August 2012, age 3

1. Who is your mom? Mommy
2. What does she do? Makes me food!
3. Who is your daddy? Daddy
4. What does he do? Goes to work!
5. What is your favorite color? Blue
6. What do you want to do when you grow up? A teacher and Mommy
7. What is your favorite breakfast? Rainbow cereal (Fruity Pebbles)
8. What is your favorite lunch? Hot Dogs
9. What is your favorite dinner? Tatoes and gravy
10. What is your favorite snack? Cheese crackers (Goldfish, Cheeze-It's, etc)
11. What food do you not like? Yucky food
12. What is your favorite animal? Whales
13.Where do you want to live when you grow up? Right here
14. What do mom and dad do when you go to bed? Jammies, scripture, and prayer
15. What does daddy say? I love you!
16. What does mommy say? I love you!
17. What is your favorite song? Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star
18. What is your favorite movie? The Lorax
19. What is your favorite ice cream? Vanilla
20. Where is your favorite place to eat? Grandma's
21. Who is your favorite person? Mommy
22. Who is your best friend? Rosie
23. What is your favorite book? Goodnight Moon
24. Who are your brothers/sisters? Rosie and Vivi
25. Where did they come from? Mommy
26. What is your favorite thing to do? Dance
27. What is your favorite toy? Play Doh

Rosalie Cadence, August 2012, age 2

1. Who is your mom? Mommy
2. What does she do? *giggles*
3. Who is your daddy? Daddy
4. What does he do? *giggles*
5. What is your favorite color? Red
6. What do you want to do when you grow up? Tall, tall, tall!
7. What is your favorite breakfast? O's (Cheerios)
8. What is your favorite lunch? Dogs (Hot Dogs)
9. What is your favorite dinner? Beans
10. What is your favorite snack? Gummy snacks
11. What food do you not like? *giggles*
12. What is your favorite animal? Tiger
13.Where do you want to live when you grow up? Here!
14. What do mom and dad do when you go to bed? Scriptures
15. What does daddy say? La-you (Love you)
16. What does mommy say? La-you (Love you)
17. What is your favorite song? Wheels on the Bus
18. What is your favorite movie? Mermaid (The Little Mermaid)
19. What is your favorite ice cream? YUMMY! (any flavor)
20. Where is your favorite place to eat? Table
21. Who is your favorite person? Mommy
22. Who is your best friend? Caity
23. What is your favorite book? Bear Wants More
24. Who are your brothers/sisters? Caity and Bibia (how she says Vivian)
25. Where did they come from? Mommy
26. What is your favorite thing to do? Color
27. What is your favorite toy? Barbies

Vivian Rane, August 2012, age 1

I would have asked Vivian, but she's not really talking more than saying, "Mama, Mama, Mama!" and "Dada, Dada, Dada!" So please enjoy the above photo of my baby love!

Happy New Year!